Kelly's World

When I list all the ways I use social media in my life I get the following:

Of course there is blogging etc, but they are the main 4.

Until recently, I didn’t realize how much my usage of those services irritated C. I didn’t see it, but he recounted experiences where we would be chatting, a twitter notification would go off, I would stop talking and check my phone. Or we would just start watching a movie, and I would grab my phone to check in Get Glue (then promptly talk about it on twitter). Or when we would go out to get something to eat and the first thing I would do is grab my phone so I could check in on Foursquare. Or celebrate a goal at the soccer only to get out my phone and immediately tweet my jubilation.

I didn’t see that my time with C wasn’t “quality time” because I was letting my phone, and socia media, get in the way.

Oops.

I know he doesn’t care if I use the services, it’s my timing that causes the issue. It’s the fact that I let it interrupt me, interrupt us. He has asked me to make a more conscious effort of not dropping everything and letting it rule our time together.

I wonder how many other people are in this situation and don’t realize it.

He didn’t voice it until the point where he thought I wouldn’t listen to him unless he tweeted me (he said “unless I twit you”, and I had to hold back from the giggles that threatened to erupt).

To all my friends that are reading this post and use social media, take a look at your own actions. Do you think it’s affecting people more than you realize? Do you make a conscious effort to curb your use of social media around others?

Relationships are hard.

Bloody hard.

Especially when you have spent 11 years with someone, since you were 15, forming incredibly deep rooted habits that you then apply to future relationships.

Especially when you approach them not ever having been in a serious relationship that lasted longer than 6 months. Or ever lived with your partner.

Especially when you both communicate so differently.

This is the biggest hurdle for C and I.

It has been a huge learning curve since we moved in together. Everything I know about dealing with another person came from a failed relationship. Like when to bring up something that annoys me, or how to interpret text messages. Its still hard for me to accept that C is a different person and should be treated accordingly.

Likewise, everything C knows about relationships…well, he doesn’t. He finds it difficult to understand that I think completely differently to him. He thinks something that is obvious to him should be obvious to me, and when it doesn’t he gets angry. Unfairly, I might add. Because I’m pretty sure you will agree that the number of people who think exactly alike would be a bloody small number.

Tonight I learned some things about myself, and heard some not-new things about myself:

It sucks that C and I have struggled with some pretty tough issues since we move in together. Yet on the other hand it’s awesome that we make the effort to discuss the problems we have rather than throwing in the towel. I know that these discussions we have all lead to us becoming better people.

I just look forward to the time when we know each other so well that we can avoid the small things that piss each other off. I look forward to more laughter and good times.

I wish I could say I look forward to it getting easier, but i know that’s not the case. It never gets easier.

As long as we are still talking. That’s how I know we can make it the distance.

This weekend was meant to be filled with friends, drinks, and laughter. Instead it was low energy all around.

About midday on Thursday (Australia Day, and a public holiday for most), C came down with a terrible virus. He had the shakes, a high fever, and eventually got the runs. He was barely able to stay awake, and lost his entire appetite. Within 24hrs he had dropped 5kg. I immediately kicked into the “caring girlfriend” routine and fussed over him, waking him periodically to take his medication and to make him drink fluids to keep him hydrated. When I wasn’t there, one of our housemates, Joe, stepped in to keep an eye on him.

Needless to say, I cancelled my plans of going away with some friends camping to stay home and look after C instead. I also had to cancel C’s weekend on the Gold Coast for a birthday party, tell some friends not to come over on Friday night, and tell his boss he wouldn’t be in on Saturday morning.

Today was incredibly low key. I woke around 10.30am (after finally going to sleep at 2am, too caught up researching the upcoming Thailand trip) and lazed around the house in my pyjamas. Mum stopped past quickly at midday, then I showered and changed. A few hours were spent as a domestic goddess, washing clothes, weeding and general housework, then I retired to the couch. Where I now sit.

I was also meant to go to Laser Force this afternoon with some friends, but unfortunately the place was closed when they arrived so it got postponed until tomorrow night. I won’t be able to make it as I have netball, so bummer for me. I was also going to go to their house to watch the Australian Open Men’s Singles Final, but my lazy gene kicked in and I piked again.

I have managed to climb out of my indent in the couch to make some banana bread, my first time making it. Hopefully it turns out, I will be sure to post some photos! I also had grand plans of washing and straightening my hair tonight, but at this stage I think that’s out. Maybe tomorrow night after netball…

So I hope you all had a most exciting weekend! I’m happy to report C has improved to the point that he is sitting on the couch, and has stayed awake for most of today, but he is still barely eating anything and doesn’t stray far from the bathroom. Yet he is improving, and that’s fantastic to see.

Next weekend will be more high energy, I’m sure. Now just to start planning something!

In July of this year, C will be turning 30. For some reason everyone celebrates that particular age, like it’s some gateway to becoming old or something.

So we are set to prove he isn’t old yet. Not yet anyway.

To celebrate in style we decided we would go overseas. Of course, there will be the family affair, but after that it’s on a plane and bye bye Australia, hello Thailand!

At this stage the plan is to be there for two weeks. The list of things we are thinking of doing are:

The scariest part of all is the size of the group that’s going. We have opened up the invitation to friends and family, and at this stage we expect the group to be somewhere in the vicinity of 10-20 people. That’s a lot of people, and a lot of cooks in the kitchen if you know what I mean. There are people that have been to Thailand before, and are quite opinionated on what we should or shouldn’t do. I am definitely interested in hearing their feedback, but I would still like the opportunity to discover and plan things for myself as well. The planning of this trip is going to be a nightmare if it comes down to people refusing to compromise.

When I expressed to a friend my fear of trying to find something to suit everyone he referred to Apple and the Steve Jobs methodology:

A lot of times, people don’t know what they want until you show it to them.

This is one of the times where I’m going to have to get some thick skin. At the end of the day I have to make sure the holiday is everything C had hoped for. He is the important one here. As long as everyone knows that everything is entirely optional, there won’t be an issue. I will simply say “here is our itinerary and what we are planning to book. Let me know if you want to be included or not.” That way people can design the holiday they want while we have the holiday we want. Of course, there will be the designated party days and subsequent hangover/rest days.

So while the planning part of it may be a potential nightmare, I’m still so incredibly excited.

Let it begin.

If you have any tips on Thailand, or organising a group of people on holidays, I would love to hear from you!

Oxley in 2011 after the devastating floods in January

Around this time last year my home state of Queensland got hit hard by mother nature. There were cyclones and widespread flooding, taking lives and causing immense damage. After the floods, thousands upon thousands of volunteers hit the streets to help with the cleanup. I was one of them, going to a friend’s place where water had reached over 1m high on the second story of his house. We spent two days salvaging what we could from his house, and cleaning anything that could be saved.

There are people still suffering from those floods today whether it’s rebuilding their houses or still mourning for those who never came back.

And now it’s raining again.

I know that I won’t be the only one who will be a little anxious by the fact that the land is already saturated from rain and there has been more forecast for at least another 5 days. I think they have predicted about 150mm; hopefully we are well equipped to handle it. Worst case scenario, I know the Australia spirit will be there yet again ready to lend a hand as soon as it comes time. We’re like little worker ants in that way, we just don’t ever give up.

But please, mother nature, give us a break this year?