Category Archives: Family

Relationships are hard

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Relationships are hard.

Bloody hard.

Especially when you have spent 11 years with someone, since you were 15, forming incredibly deep rooted habits that you then apply to future relationships.

Especially when you approach them not ever having been in a serious relationship that lasted longer than 6 months. Or ever lived with your partner.

Especially when you both communicate so differently.

This is the biggest hurdle for C and I.

It has been a huge learning curve since we moved in together. Everything I know about dealing with another person came from a failed relationship. Like when to bring up something that annoys me, or how to interpret text messages. Its still hard for me to accept that C is a different person and should be treated accordingly.

Likewise, everything C knows about relationships…well, he doesn’t. He finds it difficult to understand that I think completely differently to him. He thinks something that is obvious to him should be obvious to me, and when it doesn’t he gets angry. Unfairly, I might add. Because I’m pretty sure you will agree that the number of people who think exactly alike would be a bloody small number.

Tonight I learned some things about myself, and heard some not-new things about myself:

  • I have a terrible memory (knew that, but probably forgot)
  • That sometimes I can treat social media like its more important than the person I’m with
  • That I don’t pay enough attention to the little things I do or say (which I promptly forget because they had very little priority in my mind)

    • It sucks that C and I have struggled with some pretty tough issues since we move in together. Yet on the other hand it’s awesome that we make the effort to discuss the problems we have rather than throwing in the towel. I know that these discussions we have all lead to us becoming better people.

    I just look forward to the time when we know each other so well that we can avoid the small things that piss each other off. I look forward to more laughter and good times.

    I wish I could say I look forward to it getting easier, but i know that’s not the case. It never gets easier.

    As long as we are still talking. That’s how I know we can make it the distance.

    Time to get the Christmas newsletter cranking

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    snow flake bokeh christmas tree

    Photo credit: OSUBeaver13

    Over the last few years, I’ve tried to get a bit of a “Christmas Newsletter” written for my mum to send out to all of her friends and our other family members as a way of updating them on what we’ve been up to. Note the word “tried”. I think I’ve only done it once, maybe even twice. I plan on doing it again this year.

    While I was hanging out with my mum and sister yesterday, I asked them for points on what they’ve all done this year. It really became apparent just how much of a massive year of change 2011 has been.

    For me alone, I separated from my boyfriend of 11 years, moved home with my mum, moved into a share house with females (my first time ever really living away from a parent of some kind, given that my ex and I used to live with his mum), changed jobs and got into another relationship. All within the space of 12 months. That’s pretty crazy, and that’s not even including all of the stuff on my 52 in 52 list.

    I wonder what 2012 has in store for me?

    Happy birthday Amyob!

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    On the 18th of September, 21 years ago (give or take a decade – it’s alright sis, I won’t let anyone know your true age *touches nose*) my parents gave birth to a little girl. As she was delivered into my mother’s arms, she looked down at this new daughter and said “I know I’m going to have a few more attempts, and the third daughter that graces this planet from my loins will be perfect. But you, my dear, are close enough for now”.

    Amy during the motown era (Disclaimer - this may not be an accurate portrayal of Amy at any stage in history)

    Oh c’mon, I couldn’t help that my Mum knew that I would be flawless, nor that my eldest sister would have to hold the fort until I came along. I got here as fast as I could (to stay classy I have refrained from any sperm jokes but I know you’re thinking them). To my sister’s credit, she did a damn fine job those 9 years.

    This past Sunday, my family and I along with a bunch of Amy’s workmates and friends gathered together at Byblos in Brisbane to celebrate her birthday. We experienced some amazing cocktails, escargot (OMG I ATE SNAIL, AND I DIDN’T VOMIT), and lots of good laughter. I’m rather annoyed with myself for not remembering to bring my camera, as I had full intentions of putting my neglected SLR to work in capturing some memories. Instead, the only thing I have is a stolen photo from Amyob’s twitter stream:

    Amyob's birthday absinthe

    It was pretty evident from looking at the people in attendance just how appreciated my sister is, and I couldn’t be any more proud of her. She’s got a fantastic sense of humour, is willing to take phone calls and listen to me blabber on about my first world problems, and is the best sister a crazy girl could ever ask for. She’s also got a pretty decent taste in music (except for that Lady Gaga business).

    Happy birthday sis! Thanks for not punching me in the nose this year (oooooh I can hear you growling from here). I hope you had a most spectacular birthday weekend.

    A non “happy birthday” to you

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    To the person that has taught me what it means to hate someone,

    Today is your birthday. Technically you’re family and I should be wishing you a happy birthday, since it was 31 years ago today that you decided to enter this world. But, you see, I define family as a group of people who I have been honoured to share my entire life with, and would sacrifice everything I had for.

    You are not one of those people.

    We are “family” by blood only, and even if you needed a transfusion from someone with a compatible blood type there is not a chance that I would ever consider donating my blood to you. You’re not worth it.

    I sound bitter, don’t I? Think this might hurt your feelings? Suck it.

    See, a long time ago you hurt one of my family members, and you caused immense stress and hurt to the others. You still do on a daily basis, even if you’re not in contact with them. Your actions have caused such large impacts on the lives around you, which you still can’t see. You’ll never understand just how much, because you can’t see past your own self. It’s only ever been about you, and always will be.

    It’s not all bad though. I should send some thanks in your direction. Without your screw ups, I wouldn’t have had a chance to learn some important lessons. I probably would have made a lot more mistakes than I have, and that’s because I got to stand by and watch your self destruction, play-by-play.

    So thanks for:

    • Making me value my true family members a lot more. You will never understand just how much love I have for my mother, my REAL sister, and my father (although it may have taken me a long time to get there). I would die for them, and I wouldn’t hesitate to do so.
    • Showing me why I don’t ever want to put drugs into my body
    • Teaching me the value of proper parenting, and how not to raise a child
    • Showing me the value of patience, and taking a deep breath when I’m angry
    • Making me a stronger and more resilient person. If I can stand in front of you completely unarmed, let you whip my body with a power cord for minutes at a time, and not shed a single tear, then I can do anything.

    While I can’t say that I wish you had never been born (otherwise how would I have learned those lessons above), I certainly don’t wish you any joy on this day. You lost the right to have that when you gave up on your daughter. Anyone who can do that is complete and utter scum to me. More than anything it annoys me that I still remember the day of your birthday; if I could I would erase the memory from my brain.

    Hopefully next year you will prove to me why I should change my mind, but I won’t hold my breath. I’ve got more important things to worry about.

    This will be the last time you ever get a mention on my blog ever again. Goodbye.

    Missy’s early morning dip

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    My dog is obsessed by her ball. Literally. If you say “come”, she’ll ONLY come as long as she has her ball with her. You could say come, and she will definitely come, eventually, even if it takes two trips around the yard to find her ball first. She thinks every moment is an opportunity to play fetch.

    About a month ago I came home after being out for the night, only for my housemate to tell me in a very worried voice that my dog kept falling into the pool. The next morning the reason became clear – her ball was at the bottom of the pool and she was trying to get it out. I was incredibly impressed by her braveness, and fished it out for her using the pool cleaning rod (the net had broken off).

    However, it appears she’s starting to find it a bit of a game, usually with the following steps:

    1. Drop the ball under the pool fence
    2. Climb under the fence near the steps to get into the pool area
    3. “Accidentally” drop the ball into the water

    Mmmhmmm…I see what’s going on here. This morning when I went to leave for my jog I went out to give her a pat first, and saw the game had been repeated.

    Cheeky bugger.

    I had to record a video to share though, since I find her facials just all too gorgeous. I simply have to tell her to “get it” and she’ll stare at me with a look on her face like “me?! Are you kidding?!” Yet as soon as the ball gets close to the surface she has no problems putting her face into the water, which is something I thought dogs were generally afraid of. Not Missy; not if her ball’s involved!

     

    Straight after this video was taken she ran a victory lap of the pool, and out of sheer excitement forgot where her rear legs were. I heard a splash, turned around and found that she had fallen in onto the ledge. I proceeded to laugh incredibly loudly, while she climbed out, shook it off and raced for her ball. It was apparently time for another game of fetch.

    ALWAYS time for fetch.