Of course there is blogging etc, but they are the main 4.

Until recently, I didn’t realize how much my usage of those services irritated C. I didn’t see it, but he recounted experiences where we would be chatting, a twitter notification would go off, I would stop talking and check my phone. Or we would just start watching a movie, and I would grab my phone to check in Get Glue (then promptly talk about it on twitter). Or when we would go out to get something to eat and the first thing I would do is grab my phone so I could check in on Foursquare. Or celebrate a goal at the soccer only to get out my phone and immediately tweet my jubilation.

I didn’t see that my time with C wasn’t “quality time” because I was letting my phone, and socia media, get in the way.

Oops.

I know he doesn’t care if I use the services, it’s my timing that causes the issue. It’s the fact that I let it interrupt me, interrupt us. He has asked me to make a more conscious effort of not dropping everything and letting it rule our time together.

I wonder how many other people are in this situation and don’t realize it.

He didn’t voice it until the point where he thought I wouldn’t listen to him unless he tweeted me (he said “unless I twit you”, and I had to hold back from the giggles that threatened to erupt).

To all my friends that are reading this post and use social media, take a look at your own actions. Do you think it’s affecting people more than you realize? Do you make a conscious effort to curb your use of social media around others?

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C and I had our first dispute.

I wouldn’t say fight. It wasn’t all out screaming/yelling/carrying on. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I was quite silent, a few texts were sent, and a few hours later we calmly chatted about it all until it was all sorted.

When my ex would do something that would annoy me, I would be quiet about it. If I chose to raise the point with him and we were in public, all hell would break loose, especially if he had been drinking. The temper would flare, he would carry on and I would get embarrassed. If we were at his sister’s house he wouldn’t hold back, and a few times I could see her looking on in disgust. Thus I learned to shut my mouth, and bring things up in private at a time where no one could see what was going on.

I can see now how unhealthy that was.

So when I found myself quite upset over something C had done, habit dictated that I became quiet. I knew I wasn’t hiding it well (I’m NEVER quiet) and my change in mood was apparent. In my mind, it wasn’t the time or place to pull him aside as there were friends present. I didn’t want him to get upset and I certainly didn’t want to cause a scene. I didn’t want to make things worse. Instead, by being quiet I merely escalated things.

Thus from our first dispute I learned some invaluable things:

• C is so completely different to my ex, and I am constantly forgetting that. I have habits and ways of treating him based on how my ex and I used to interact. I need to stop doing that, and I need to treat C as his own person. It’s a learning process of how we both cope, and I need to make sure that I am always paying attention.
• I have learned that C doesn’t have a temper like my ex, and is certainly more systematic and logic in his method of dealing with incidents without emotion (probably due to his occupation, where he needs to be able to separate emotion from his actions)
• C would much prefer that I pull him aside for a 5min chat so that I can tell him what’s wrong and he can sort it out there and then.
• I am incredibly sensitive sometimes
• I need to just accept apologies and snap out of it
• I need to become more confident in my relationship and myself, and stop being so insecure

At the time that I became offended, C noticed and he apologised, yet I couldn’t snap out of the mood I was in. He didn’t realise this, thought it was all solved and continued to tease. Then a joke later from his friends designed to stir me made me even more upset (they were trying to cheer me up), and his response (while fine in his mind) certainly didn’t help things.

Once we got talking later about the things that had upset us, I found that there was actually a lot more that I had buried that had been on my mind, most likely making me even more sensitive. I voiced my concerns, and was instantly made aware of how much more we both had to learn with regards to communicating to each other. C had taken it for granted that I understood some things, which was completely the opposite to what I had interpreted. While it really highlighted how insecure I was in myself, it also emphasised that C needs to be a little bit more clear.

Despite having a guy that loves me and adores me, I still struggle to accept that, and as such regularly find myself in a position where I am just waiting for him to crush me. It’s unhealthy.

Thus, we both walked away from the experience having learned a great deal about each other. Next time an issue arises I will need to remember the lessons I learned this time around.

This relationship is really making me grow as a person. I am thankful I have the ability to understand I’m not perfect, and to constantly review my actions with a plan on how to improve. I am thankful to be with such an amazing guy.

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It was amazing.

The original plan was that we would go and check in, then I would go fill in for a friend in netball while C settled in and organized dinner. Instead, we arrived and as I sat on the bed I realized my knee was swollen. I instantly got on the phone and got a friend to cover me; I’m slowly learning how to be sensible.

The downside was that I was planning on going home to get my gear for the accommodation before netball, so without my pj’s and work clothes for the next day I would still have to go back out. When I got back, I found that C had organized dinner, run the spa and started a fire in the fireplace. Before he gets too many romance points I should point out I had jokingly asked him to. I never expected he actually would, so he still got points from me as the scene was very romantic to come back to.

After we had dinner (Chinese takeaway by candlelight) we poured ourselves a glass of champagne each, then climbed in the spa. There we sat for nearly 2 hours, just talking and relaxing. It was bliss.

We finally climbed out when we noticed how wrinkly we had become. We put on our supplied bathrobes, laid on top of the king size bed and chatted some more while dozing off and on.

The next morning we awoke, still in our bath robes laying on top of the bed sheets. It had been such a warm night that the sheets really weren’t necessary. We were both well rested but it was still a shame to have to get up so early and go to work, I could have easily stayed there a few more days. Instead, we made ourselves breakfast from the supplied picnic hamper (the muffins were amazing), collected our stuff and reluctantly checked out.

I am going back there again.

If you are ever on the Sunshine Coast, or live on the coast and just want one night away, visit Amore on Buderim. You won’t be disappointed.

Some photos from our stay:

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This weekend I decided to take advantage of my post-surgery (still yet to blog, sorry) and detox weary body by chilling out at home. I’ve watched a couple of movies, and today I decided to do a bit of cleaning out of my cupboard.

I’m a little bit of a hoarder in that I like to keep things that hold specific memories for me. In fact, up until today I still had every single letter that had ever been written & passed to me in high school. Either I was popular or we just wrote a heck of a lot, cause there were a LOT of letters there! I took some photos of the funnier ones with pictures so that I could upload them to facebook and share them with the friends that wrote them, and then put them all into a pile.

I did momentarily stop and think about just simply tossing all the letters out, but instead decided I would burn them. I’m a little bit of a pyro, and fire is fun! I’ll do that tonight when it gets a little bit darker and less windy. My housemate is stunned that I’m throwing it out and tried to convince me to hang onto them, but given that in the last 10 years since I graduated I’ve only gone into the box once to see what all the stuff was, I don’t see any point in hanging onto it. I did find a few year books and things in there, which I have kept though. School diaries went straight into the bin, no one wants to be reminded of homework that wasn’t ever done.

What about all of you guys? Have you ever kept anything from high school?

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All up we had numbers in the vicinity of 50 people of so over the course of the night. It never felt crowded, but it definitely never felt empty either. I was lucky enough to have friends and family visiting from Melbourne and Brisbane, as well as friends close on the coast. C also had some of his mates in attendance, and combined with the number of friends and family of my housemates it was a well attended party.

We didn’t manage to get the smoke machines (the person responsible for it showed up to the party completely forgetting to bring it), but we did have some pretty awesome decorations if I say so myself. We had the bonfire area set up in the backyard complete with jelly wrestling pool (only one man was brave enough to go in though), a back room filled with a sound system, strobe lighting and dance floor, and a garage with a pool table and casual drinking area. We had it all covered!

Of course, the costumes were by far the biggest spectacle, but due to people wishing to remain anonymous I won’t be able to share all of the pictures with you. You’ll just have to trust me that there were some amazing efforts.

Keep reading to see a selection of photos from the night

The back room, and just out of sight to the left was the stereo system and the strobe lighting

My housemate carved this pumpkin, which formed the centrepiece of the food table

Fake spiderwebs on the window, complete with fake bugs

Some little flashing pumpkins that were placed around the garden

The backyard ready for a bonfire, several more chairs were added before the party, and this area proved quite popular

Some more lanterns hung over the pool umbrella

The crime scene bathroom

My housemates and I (right). We ultimately decided the hosts should go as "the three witches" so all got matching costumes

Me photo bombing a photo of my sister the evil surgeon and Claire the vampire

My cousin, my sister, Claire and I

Thanks to everyone who came, I hope you had an amazing time. Thankfully the clean up the following day wasn’t *too* horrendous, nothing that a ute and a trip to the dump couldn’t fix!

Given the amount of fun we had, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Halloween party becomes a traditional thing purely just for the dress up aspect. It was too much fun!

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• Finalise music playlist
• Buy some red lipstick (will be used to scribble on the bathroom mirrors)
• Buy black lipstick and nail polish for my outfit
• Buy black shoes for my outfit (will also double as work shoes in the end)
• Pick up a drum barrel for the bonfire out the back
• Begin decorating the house (we have so much to do – hang lanterns, fairy lights, fake spider webs, blow up balloons)
• Pick up both mine & C’s costume from the costume shop
• Pick out and order costumes for two of my friends flying in from Melbourne
• Make some halloween themed snacks for the party
• Make sure the house is absolutely spotless before the party

I’m sure there’s a lot of other things that I’m forgetting, but that’s the gist of it for now. Saturday morning is going to be crazy, as I’m visiting a friend’s jewellery auction as well as getting my hair cut. I’m going to be rushing around like mad to get the house decorated as I don’t want my housemates to feel like they’ve had to do everything themselves (particularly since this party was my idea).

It will be great when I’m dressed, drinking and finally relaxing!

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A-League is back.

It’s been a mammoth off-season, with the beginning of the season pushed back to avoid starting during the finals of the other football codes in the country. Brilliant idea I think, and hopefully it means we will see some increased spectator numbers. Last season was an amazing time for football in this country (soccer for some), with my favourite team, Brisbane Roar, taking out both pieces of the silverware. Love it.

To celebrate the start of the season, a group of us on twitter are meeting up beforehand. There’ll be drinks, introductions, chanting, and lots of chatter.

If you’re interested in coming (we’ll accept supporters from other clubs, although we may stir you a little), the details are:

Hotel LA
Caxton St
Brisbane
6pm – kick off (make sure you leave with enough time that you don’t miss kick off though!)

We have even created a facebook event page, which you can find here. The invitation is open to everyone so feel free to just show up unannounced and meet some new faces! I’ll be sure to post some pictures from the meet up tomorrow, once I come down from the high of the start of the new season.

Tonight’s game couldn’t be any better. It’s a grand final replay between my beloved Roar and Central Coast Mariners; I can’t wait. Is it time to go yet?

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After a long wait, we finally got to spend that weekend away together. The entire weekend can be summed up with one word:

Excellent.

The actual weekend started on Friday night with C’s housewarming party. After an inital hiccup, the evening panned out well and I had a great time. Possibly a bit *too* good a time as I threw up twice in the morning before boarding the plane to Sydney. I also couldn’t handle the smell or sight of food until 5.30pm that evening. C struggled to get out of bed at all, and nearly missed the plane! When my friends arrived to pick us up on the way to the airport C was still in the bathroom, having only just managed to climb out of bed. In the end, worried about getting to the airport in time to check in we opted to leave him there and took off to the airport so at least we could check in. That probably sounds worse than it was, as we didn’t exactly ditch him; we’d arranged with one of his housemates to get dropped off. The plan was that we could just get all of us checked in, then hopefully he would still arrive in time to get his bags checked in, otherwise it was still small enough to take as a carry on. I couldn’t be too hard on C though, even if he tends to run late quite a bit. Some of my best mates would vouch for the fact that I used to run late regularly, though I’ve gotten a lot better at it.

Arriving in Sydney, we decided we would meet in a couple of hours to go out for dinner. I rang and made the booking, then C and I used the time to have a much needed sleep in our hotel room. Dinner was at a Brazillian BBQ place in Wooloomooloo, called Churrasco. I have been there before, and I highly recommend it. The food and atmosphere is incredible!

The next day we didn’t have much time to do anything before the NRL grand final, so after a buffet breakfast we began to make our way to ANZ stadium via a super packed train. It was fun though, the train driver made an announcement over the radio before saying “Go the warriors”, causing the train to errupt into a chorus of boos and cheers.

I passed the time by playing with my phone and taking artsy fartsy pics

It was cold day, and we spent the time in the stands shivering. It did actually rain on us a few times, but thankfully only in short spurts so I was able to get away with not having a poncho. I was certainly glad to see a shower at the end of the night though and warm my bones up again. We had dinner at a Thai restaurant in Darling Harbour, Thai Foon, which my friend had spotted on previous travels to Sydney but had never been able to go. It didn’t disappoint. The food was fantastic, although the duck I ordered wasn’t quite as good as the duck at the Spice Bar back home in Mooloolaba. Originally C and I had planned on going out to meet up with my cousin who was also in town at the time, but eventually we scrapped the plan and went back to the hotel to sleep. We were shattered.

We must have needed it, as we had a mammoth sleep in until 10am (nearly 10 full hours of sleep, OH YEAH), then we spent the day wandering around at Circular Quay showing C the Opera House. He’d been to Sydney before and walked over the Harbour Bridge, but never actually been at the Opera House itself. It’s definitely one of those “once you’ve done it you don’t need to do it again” kinda things though, and I found I was more interested in people watching and looking at nearby shops. After having lunch, we wandered down around the rocks for a look around. I have to give props to C here, since he’d managed to break his toe on Friday night but still insisted on walking around with us. Each night at the hotel I’d fussed over him tho, including the night before where I’d made him ice his foot and elevate it before we both passed out asleep. On our last day in Sydney we did the most walking out of all of the days, and he didn’t complain once. He also compared the pain to being stung by about 10 green ants at once. It definitely didn’t sound pleasant.

Finally it came time to go back to the hotel, collect our things and get to the airport. I’ve discovered the best thing about travelling with C is his size – he’s 6ft 8, which means that airport staff are only too happy to give us the exit/emergency rows. Extra leg room here I come!! On this occasion we all scored the first row on the plane, and the entire flight home passed quickly as we all fell asleep relatively fast. Coming home was bitter sweet as I’d loved spending the time away with my friends, and it was not as warm as I’d hoped (after spending a few days being cold in Sydney I was looking forward to the warmer temperatures). But there’s nothing quite like coming home to a dog who thinks you’re the greatest thing on the planet, and I was only too thrilled to see my girl.

Thanks for a great weekend guys, and look forward to our next adventure!

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This weekend I’m flying to Sydney. Oh yeah.

The group consists of C plus a couple of friends of mine, Ang and Stu, and our aim is to just chill…the….f……out. No stress here! Unfortunately there’s a couple of issues threatening to ruin the weekend though, not happy Jan!

We bought our tickets to the grand final as soon as they became available, months before we even had any idea who would be in the finals. When it came time for the finals, we were thrilled to see that Brisbane Broncos and Melbourne Storm were still in the running. Ang, Stu and C are all big Broncos supporters, and while I don’t support a particular NRL team I am a die hard maroons supporter in the state of origin. With several key players in the Storm side, I was hopeful they would make the final.

With only two games remaining until the grand final, both of which would decide the finalists, Brisbane Broncos and Melbourne Storm crashed out in controversial circumstances. We had at least a 50% chance of one of our teams making the final, and luck was against us. Instead we’re faced with Manly Warringah Sea Eagles (fair to say most hated side in the competition) vs New Zealand Warriors. Hopefully it will still be a great game, and I’m going to be a temporary kiwi for the weekend as I back the warriors (you’ll never find me supporting Manly).

The weather is the other concern. At the moment the temperature looks like it’s not going to top 19 degrees (brrr!! I’m from Queensland, anything under 20 is freezing to me!) and it’s forecasted to rain the entire weekend.Cold and wet makes Sydney a dreary place to be! I’ll be sure to do my best to avoid letting the rain dampen my spirits (geddit? dampen? ha!) and I’m still looking forward to a great weekend. It’s also going to be the first proper time I’ve been away with C, which I’m definitely looking forward to!

Only one more working day until the weekend rolls on. It can’t come soon enough.

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I expect his version of fun is similar to the above. I'm jealous. Photo credit: Roro Fernandez

The strangest thing is that I wasn’t daunted by the prospect of his going away and not being able to contact him. Don’t get me wrong, I was going to miss him – I’m not totally cold hearted. It’s just that I knew I had an extremely busy week ahead of me, and the split couldn’t have come at a better time (I have a uni assignment due in 4 days, and I have to prepare for my onsite uni visit in a week). By far the hardest thing for me is trying to get some uni done when I know he’s only a 5min drive away. Chemistry vs spending time with the guy I love just hanging out and relaxing…? I know which one I’d prefer! I also knew that if I had a lonely moment I have many friends around me that I can call upon. So really, there wasn’t going to be a chance to sit still and say “woe is me”. Knowing that, why would I get upset? It would only serve to make him feel guilty for making me sad, right?

He actually mentioned that one of his mates asked him how I was going to cope (according to her she and her fiancee “don’t do well apart” and he was going on the boys trip as well). He said that he’d told her I didn’t seem worried at all. I hope that wasn’t his subtle way of trying to hint I should say how much I was going to miss him, cause otherwise I don’t think my response helped. When I dropped him off he made a joke about missing me which gave me a case of the warm fuzzies so after I got home I sent a text saying some pretty gushy stuff and another “have fun”, then promptly fell asleep (when I woke I had a reply from him echoing the gushy stuff, woohoo).

So now I find myself with less than 24 hours until he gets back. I keep thinking about the huge cuddle I’m going to give him when I see him (no slow motion running scenes here though), and just to see his face and feel him again will be fantastic. I have definitely missed the cuddles in bed along with his general presence, although I’ve been able to get on with things and maintain my focus.

Until today.

Maybe I should have bought one of these pillows as a replacement while he's away

I guess the only way to explain it is like when you’re waiting to go away on holidays. You’re excited about the date and you know it’s coming but you can still focus on other things. Yet as soon as the final 24 hour countdown begins it’s all you can think about.

Thank god I have netball tonight, and still a large amount of uni lectures to get through, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. I guess I’ve finally lost that “tough Kel” reputation I thought I had. I guess that’s what being “loved up” can do to you – just ask my sister (woooooo).

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The weekend started by flying into Sydney just after lunch on the Saturday. I waited at the airport for half an hour before meeting two of my friends, and headed to the hotel. We dropped our stuff off, where suddenly we all heard the bells chiming at the same time.

It was beer o’clock.

We settled on a bar in Woolloomooloo, sitting on the balcony upstairs overlooking the docks while sipping on some wine and eating some light afternoon snacks. I was incredibly fatigued from a late night before, and struggled to get some energy together. I managed to down one glass of wine though before we all went back to the hotel. I had a power nap, Julie had more wine while looking out the window at the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and Jens went for a run (because it’s totally natural to go for a run the afternoon before a 14km race, though in all fairness he was testing out his knee as it had been hurting lately).

Dinner consisted of a russian feast that included cabaret, something I wasn’t expecting until I saw a sign in the restaurant. As part of the feast, Jens and I agreed (after a bit of coaxing from the host) that we had to have a vodka shot with our entree. I immediately took the shot, and was startled to see Jens sipping small bits while he was eating his entrees. That not how you take a vodka shot!

Here’s a few photos from the restaurant (click to view larger sizes):

Beers at the Russian restaurant

Bottoms up!

Herring entree

Goulash and mushroom crepes

Chicken something for my main

Cabaret dancers

Strawberry crepe

After downing one of the strongest cocktails in my life, followed by a more subtle cocktail and managing to avoid getting on the dance floor with Julie, we finished dinner and made our way back to the hotel. We turned the tv onto the music channel, and continued to drink wine until the screaming of our subconscious minds reminding us about the following morning grew too loud, and we agreed it was time for bed. Jens and Julie returned to their room, I drunkenly painted my fingernails then passed out asleep on the bed.

My alarm went off early the next morning, and upon rising discovered I was the recipient of a hangover headache. Not cool. Glancing out the window I saw it was pouring with rain. Even less cool.

First port of call was the hydralite packets I’d thoughtfully packed, and after downing one of those, showering and messaging Julie with a weather update I decided to go in search for a poncho. After losing a small fortune at the corner store but finding myself in possession of two ponchos and painkillers, I waited downstairs at the hotel for Jens to pass by. He was in a running group that started nearly an hour before Julie and I, so we arranged for him to wear his jacket to the starting line then pass it to me as he ran past. I was thrilled to see the rain had eased off so it wasn’t coming down by the time Jens started, however the roads were still quite wet.

I photographed the start of the race, collected Jens’ jacket, and after packing up the rest of my gear upstairs made my way back down to reception and checked out. Julie was already waiting for me, and given the time we opted to just make our way to the starting line rather than worry about breakfast. We figured waiting until we got to Bondi sounded like a good option.

Approximately 15mins after our official starting time, we finally passed the starting line and were on our way!

Superman leading the pack

Storm Troopers amongst the crowd

The route for the City 2 Surf

Our split times for the race

One hour and 49mins later it was all over. Given I had been sick for nearly 6 weeks, the last 3 with bronchitis, I remain incredibly proud of how we did for the run. A few days earlier I’d tried to go for a run in the morning and had struggled to run for almost 2mins straight. Here I was, 1 hour and 49mins later and 14km further from where I started, knowing I’d only walked approximately 1 – 2km of it. Regardless of how fast I could have been, I still remain thrilled, and now I have a good benchmark for next year.

Reward for my efforts

Throughout the whole race I had been able to smell barbecues and food on the grill, which made my hunger even more insatiable. My stomach kept growling, and I kept assuring it that it would be stuffed full soon enough. Thankfully the hydralite had pushed away any thought of a hangover too, not to mention getting gatorade from the numerous drink stops along the track. By the time we arrived in Bondi I was truly ready to shove anything I could find in my mouth, and I was stoked to receive a text letting us know that Jens had found a table at a cafe. He had some lemon squash and coffees waiting, and we quickly made up our mind on what to eat. I don’t think I’ve ever had a big breakfast so fast, and I felt sick by the time I finished. But boy was my stomach satisfied!

After a 20min queue for the bus, then standing for 40mins on the bus, we found ourselves back at the hotel where they were kind enough to let us use the showers in the gym to wash away all the sweat and return to beautiful smelling individuals. There was a quick visit to a local bar for one more afternoon drink (I got an OJ, so hardcore), then I was off to the airport to fly back home to the beautiful (and much warmer) Sunshine Coast. Coming home was a great conclusion to another fantastic weekend away for the City 2 Surf.

After 3 years of going to the City 2 Surf, I am definitely in love with this tradition.

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*DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN*

In my opinion, and I’m hoping it’s reciprocated by the others, I think it went really well. In the lead up to meeting them I was extremely nervous, and typically worried about every possible thing, even the unnecessary. I quickly washed my car this morning because I was afraid his family would see it, think it was filthy and form a bad opinion of me. I changed clothes several times in the morning before settling on something that I thought was girly enough but still casual and comfortable. It took me forever to do my makeup (I’m usually done in a minute or two). I had quizzed C on their names and memorised them to ensure I wouldn’t have any problems the next day (my memory can be terrible).

Yeah, I was pretty anxious.

C was incredibly helpful though. He provided wonderful feedback like “you’re not wearing that are you?”, and asked questions like “what are you going to do if they hate you?”. Oh yeah, the man knows how to put a girl at ease. He was just having a laugh though, getting a kick out of how worried I was. I’ll remember that the next time he’s in my position though, perhaps when he hangs out with one of my best mates next weekend *evil laugh*

Having met his family now it’s completely understandable why he felt the need to tease me – I had nothing to worry about, they’re fantastic! His mother is absolutely lovely and completely dotes on him, having cooked and frozen some meals for him. His sister and brother-in-law (complete with young children in tow) were fantastic, and I was able to have a bit of a chat and a joke with them. To know me though, you’d know that I was definitely a lot quieter than normal.

We spent the afternoon at C’s house having coffee and enjoying some fudge before heading off to a nearby hotel for lunch. Funnily enough, the previous afternoon C and I had visited one of the hinterland towns on the Sunshine Coast and picked up some fudge for his mum, and when she arrived they’d just bought some fudge for all of us to share! Great minds think alike?

I’m so glad the initial first meeting is over now though, and next time I will feel much more at ease. His family reminds me of mine in a way, in that when we all get together it’s very much a laid back chilled out affair. When C meets my extended family with all the cousins (we’re quite the unit) I think he’ll feel very much the same as I did today. It will be a familiar environment, and he won’t feel out of his depth.

Having been a success today, it’s another positive step for us as a couple. I’m still yet to find a downside.

Life is wonderful.

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Last night we headed down as usual, and managed to pull out a win! We also took 2nd place last week, so with both 1st & 2nd place prizes combined we now have a total of $75 in vouchers – awesome! There’s going to be a lot of food on the table to share around next week.

Notable events from the night were Kathryn getting a Justin Bieber question right (she was proud), all of us doubting Sarah when she said that The Big Bang Theory was situated in Pasadena (she was correct, and thankfully we had written it down), and Tina pulling out another few great answers about the English Premier League. Brilliant work team!

Meanwhile, when talking to Jake I said I thought Pasadena was more like a dessert, meaning desert. Oops!

The winners (minus me) in all their post-victory glory

If anyone located around the Sunshine Coast is interested in joining us the offer is totally open to all. Look for the #sctub tag on twitter to see updates on gatherings, and feel free to drop me a comment on my blog or via  twitter.

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There was once when I had to forward him an email to get him to remove my email details from the pay tv account, which resulted in a little bit of a “catch up”. I wished him well with his new gf, he wished me well with everything I was doing (being happy – woo!) and that was it. That was months ago.

Thus you can understand my surprise when I suddenly received an email a few days ago saying that he’d heard I was now dating C, although he didn’t refer to him by name since he has never met him. I’m still friends with my ex’s sister, and word would have either travelled from sister – to mother – to my ex, or by the various mutual friends we share. Either way, I don’t care at all that he found out, I have nothing to hide, and I’m actually sharing with the world how happy I am.

My problem lies in how to respond.

I can’t not respond. I understand that I should be cutting off contact with him, and I truly understand people’s point when they suggest that’s the method to go. In my opinion I have really cut him out of my life, he’s not factored into any of my decisions, I don’t think about him, and I have absolutely zero feelings for him. The thing that makes me reluctant to ignore the email is that I just find it outright rude. He knows I’m a nerd, and that I get my emails on my phone. There’s no way I could have avoided reading the email. And while I don’t wish to have him be part of my life, I still want things to be left on good terms. Thus, a response is definitely needed, which therein lies the issue.

How exactly do I respond? I can’t write the response I’d like, which would be along the lines of “yes, I’m dating C and he is incredible. I’m spoiled, I feel special, he makes me happier than I have ever been before”. That would be akin to throwing something in my ex’s face, and saying “hey, you know those 11 years we spent together? Yeah, SHIT! REALLY SHIT!”. There were good times during those 11 years, and while I have no regrets in how it ended, I still don’t think that he needs to hear that kind of a reply.

I could do the totally unemotional response of “yes, I am in a relationship, thank you for your well wishes”. Or I could just, ya know, turn into a robot.

I’m thinking I need to find the middle ground and reply with something like “yes, I’m with someone and we’re very happy, thanks for your well wishes.” That sounds so totally dicky to me, but I know that’s on the right track. It’s a subtle way of saying how over the moon I am without going too far, and not throwing mud in his face. Now I just have to fine-tune the email before writing back.

Who would have ever thought I could be possibly stuck for words?

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After I realised that I had feelings, and we had “the discussion” about our relationship we’ve been pretty inseperable. He works on a roster system, so could be working a night shift one day, then two days later be on a day shift. There’s no routine or pattern to it, so we have just taken it as it comes and seen each other whenever we could. There has only been a few days where we haven’t seen each other at all, some days where we’ve only had a couple of hours, some days where we’ve spent a lot of time together. There have been a lot of sleep overs.

However, as I tend to do, I began to analyse the situation.

I started to worry that I was pushing it by seeing him too much. I started to say things like “I’ll let you be, and I’ll just see you tomorrow”. I began to look for a sign that showed he was sick of me, and needed a break. The sign never came. I finally said something to him along the lines of “I don’t want to smother you or make you sick of me”. I was shocked when he said I was doing anything but (although he did joke about a texting limit, and said he’d noticed a pattern to when I would message him).

I guess what made me the most wary was the fact that prior to our relationship he was very much the “man’s man”. He was always with the boys just hanging out. It may very well be the case that he was like that purely because he was single, but I certainly don’t want to be responsible for him not spending as much time with his friends, or change his personality in any way. After all, that was what attracted me to him in the first place.

On the selfish front, I need to make sure I’m making time for my own friends and my uni studies. I have been spending time with my friends without C: the Wednesday night pub sessions, a poker night at a friend’s place, a bbq with my family etc. While I definitely have the confidence to do all of this myself (which wasn’t the case in my former relationship), a part of me still wishes he was there. I suspect this might be similar to what he’s feeling – he wants the time to do his thing but wants to experience it with me at the same time. There’s just an energy when we’re together that is addictive.

He worked night shift last night, finishing work this morning at 6am. He was in bed by 6.30am, but not until he had sent me a message letting me know that he’d set his alarm for 9.15am and I should come over for a bit before I headed to Brisbane for the day. I was a bit reluctant, only because I didn’t want to interrupt his sleep but by the time I messaged back there was no response, and I assumed he had passed out already. At 9.15am I got a message saying that he was awake, and that I was still welcome to go around. I arrived soon after with some breakfast, to find him still in bed and barely conscious. I tried to leave again but he wanted me to stay, so we spent the time cuddling while he attempted to stay awake and have a conversation. He succeeded (barely), and while I felt pretty special that he made such an effort to spend time with me I don’t think there’s going to be a repeat performance. Next time I’m going to insist that he remains asleep.

Which brings me to my point of this post. Even though I would love to spend as much time with him as I can, I’m going to have to take a stand and say when it’s appropriate. Visiting this morning definitely wasn’t a good idea; working non-regular shifts is bad enough on his sleeping patterns without the addition of broken sleep. While the relationship is new this seems to be all in good fun and I love the cuddles I get, but in the long term it isn’t ideal. There might be times where I’ll need him to understand that I can’t visit because of uni, or some other reason. I can only see that ensuring there’s some guidelines now will be beneficial for us in the future. Absence makes the heart grow fonder…right?

When you were first entering into a relationship, how did you manage?

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That’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

It’s a bit scary, but only 2 weeks after a second date the man codenamed Copper, C for short, and I decided we are in a relationship. Is that too fast? I don’t know. But it feels comfortable and we’re both happy with it, so whatever. At the time of our second date I was still a bit screwy in the head over my no-strings-attached person, and finally decided that the best thing for me would be to put them totally out of my mind. A gut instinct had been telling me over and over not to get involved with him, so I finally listened to my gut and severed all ties (if only I could listen to my gut when it tells me I don’t need anymore chocolate). We’re still friends and we can chat without it being weird, but I can already see the difference in that I don’t find myself thinking about him anymore. The lack of constant mind games has already made me feel like a huge weight has lifted off my chest.

Once I had made the call to put the other guy out of my mind, the next time I met up with C I purely focused on him and only him. We spent a few hours at the beach with our dogs just throwing the ball and having fun. It was fantastic. I felt at ease, and actually began to picture myself in that situation regularly. It was the first time that I had no fear about thinking about being with someone after the end of my 11 year relationship earlier this year, although to be fair I had only been with one other person during that time Writing this now it’s become obvious how fast it seems, but it just feels natural.

I guess something must have clicked in C’s head that day too, since we have been in contact every day since. We have discussed our feelings and agreed that we both feel the exact same way, which C described as “really really really liking each other”. Just thinking about the way he puts it and the look on his face brings a smile to my face.

Some of my friends have met him, and he has passed the test on all occasions. One friend even said we look absolutely smitten with each other. I value all of my friend’s opinions, since they can approach the situation completed unattached and be brutally honest. One had expressed concern about no-strings guy, and she was dead on accurate in describing exactly what I was thinking. With C she has said nothing but positive things, which reinforces the feeling that I made the right decision.

It was quite an interesting experience agreeing on the relationship status. He had dropped the b and g words when drunk (boyfriend and girlfriend) so I had a pretty good idea he was keen. One night (I waited until an opportunity when he was sober) we were discussing relationships, which seemed like the perfect moment to enquire what our status was. The answer?

“Friends with benefits” *laughter*

My response? “Cool, sounds good to me!”

He then clarified “well, I’ve already called you my girlfriend a few times so…”

Not being good with serious situations I was overdue for a joke, so I teased by saying “so what you’re telling me is I need to change my Facebook relationship status from single?”

And thus it was done. By far one of the most awkward conversations I have ever had, and not one I ever expected to have. Since then we have discussed it again and reinforced that we are totally exclusive and in a relationship. To be honest though, I don’t think there was a chance that either of us would be looking anywhere else.

So far I have discovered C is unlike anything I have ever experienced ever before. I’m not used to being complimented so much, or being spoiled. I consider myself to be independent, and I don’t take well to people paying for things for me, but his offers of generosity astound me. The random texts I get, the nicknames he has for me…heck I even got a foot massage yesterday! He is even turning me into a bit of a soppy mess, so needless to say I will not ever share the details of my text messages on here lest I lose my “tough Kel” reputation. We chat easily, and even after spending a lot of time together we are yet to have an awkward moment. He makes me laugh and he makes me feel special…and it’s only been a month. Woah.

So there it is! I’m no longer a single and silly girl, though by no means will I stop having fun. The ball is rolling on my personal development as a new person, and I’m not stopping now. This whole experience with C will just be in addition to my own self discovery. I can’t wait to see what I find out about myself next! Kelly in a new relationship? This is gonna be good!!

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But, and it’s a big but, I couldn’t be with you because I’m not ready.

I don’t even know if you actually had feelings for me in return, you never came out and answered the question. I tend to think you did, because otherwise I wouldn’t be struggling to write this post. You would have just told me where to go and left it at that.

Here’s my situation:

I have just come out of a long-term relationship. The thought of immediately committing myself to someone again terrifies me. I am so frightened to be vulnerable, and when I started realizing just how much I loved spending time with you, alarm bells went off. I backed right off and said “no more” to you.

In the beginning I talked about you to all my friends; that should have been a clear indicator to both of us. We had chemistry that was obvious to everyone except me (I’m pretty thick like that, you even had to point out when another guy was hitting on me as I hadn’t realised). I loved chatting to you, and you made me learn so much about myself in such a short amount of time. You had an uncanny ability to be able to see deep inside of me, and helped to reveal things I never knew. You forced me to think, and touched upon the truth. It frightened me. It still does. I never thought I could be that transparent.

I have so much in my life that I need to accomplish for my own personal happiness, and unfortunately that means that I am really going to struggle to tie myself down. Not just to you, but to anyone. To try and force commitment upon myself would just be unfair to anyone involved. When you asked if I had feelings for you I avoided the question and gave you a shit response. I am truly sorry.

This is what I learned about you:

You are an incredible guy. You have an amazing sense of humor, and are much deeper than you would care to let on. You are caring, and were there when I needed a hug and someone to talk to. You are very attractive, and all your hard work has paid off. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. If I was in a more stable place in my life, I wouldn’t hesitate to be with you, despite what reasons I gave you before (it was my way of dodging my true feelings). Any woman who is lucky enough to have you better not take you for granted, because you deserve someone who makes you happy. You have worked so hard for everyone except yourself. You need to make time to be selfish.

My advice to you is this:

Don’t go somewhere because it is comfortable. Don’t be afraid of change. Don’t forget to chase your dreams.

I’m still working my way towards mine, and I am sorry if I have hurt you in the process.

All the best for the future, and I hope we can still be friends. I would love to repay the favor and be there for you if you need it.

You know where I live, so you know where to find me…I’m here for you any time.

Kel

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One day he decided to ask me out, and I guess he had told his sister about it, because before I had a chance to think about the proposition I had about fifteen seniors chanting at me to say yes, and to give him a kiss. As a grade 8 student with absolutely no self esteem I promptly accepted, and pecked him. Thankfully we arrived at my bus stop so I jumped off the bus and ran home.

The next morning I broke up with him. I tried to explain that I didn’t like him “in that way”, but it appeared that it didn’t quite go down the way I hoped when later in the day people started jeering at me, saying things like “frigid! frigid” and “scared of a bit of a kiss?”. Despite this, we remained friends. We would always chat whenever we saw each other, and after we finished school and would run into each other around the Sunshine Coast it would result in one of us running to the other and a huge bear hug. He had an infectious smile, a cheeky personality, and was just an all out great guy.

Today I found out he passed on after a car crash on the Sunshine Coast Friday night.

RIP my friend

I am absolutely gutted. One, because he was such a beautiful person and the world is a much sadder place without him. Two, because if they were speeding, they were being absolute DICKHEADS. I am mourning for his loss but I am so angry that they could have been so stupid. I’m also angry at myself, because it’s only been a few hours since I found out he’s gone, but I’m already swearing about him. I just wish both of the boys had had more sense, and they would still be here. No one would have to go through this shit, and we could still see each other.

I probably shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Anger is one of the phases of mourning isn’t it?

I have spent the last few hours just reading his facebook wall, looking back on photos, and crying. It made me wish that cameras were so readily accessible whenever I was with him so that I would have my own personal photo to look back on and smile fondly at. My bosses have been fantastic, they’ve taken the phones for me and suggested I go home, but I would much rather stay here and try to use work to get my mind off it, although I haven’t been too successful thus far.

I also had to call my ex, since he knew Sean as well. The exchange was pleasant (well, as pleasant as it could be when you’re discussing someone who has died), and he has indicated that he would like to come to the funeral. It will be the first time we have seen each other since February.

I know there will be a LOT of people at this funeral. Both boys in the accident were dearly loved, and I know there are many, many people waiting on details. It will be the first time I have seen a lot of people since high school, I just wish it wasn’t under these circumstances. I will just need to focus on celebrating his life, rather than mourning the rest of the one he won’t be living.

I plead with everyone, PLEASE SLOW DOWN. Don’t make anyone go through this unnecessarily.

Never a dull moment, much love my friend

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This photo made it into today’s photos, just. 12.17am in fact, and after a substantial amount of drinks. How to tell I was drunk? I was willingly on the dance floor, and in fact, I recall dragging Timmy onto the floor with Kim and I. At least it was because the band was playing some awesome songs. From memory, I think they played one song where it looked like I was the only one who actually knew what it was!

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I got up and went out into the kitchen, expecting to have to sheepishly apologise to Julie for having slept in. What I found instead was that she wasn’t awake either! Resigned to the fact there wouldn’t be any further sleeping for me, I showered then attempted to make myself a coffee. Their coffee machine was pretty darn impressive, but without knowing exactly what I had to do to froth the milk I decided to make a long black and just add some milk in. It was sufficient in fulfilling my need for caffeine, although I was thankful when Julie showed me how to make cappuccinos later. After a little while Julie surfaced, and I was treated to an incredible home-cooked hot breakfast (I haven’t made myself a hot breakfast in a long time, so this was a big treat for me).

Julie making breakfast

It tasted as good as it looked

Once she had showered it was time to head out for the day. We were headed into the city to pick up another friend, when disaster struck. We had taken a wrong turn, and unfortunately it meant that Julie was going to have to do her first hook turn.

If you want a proper definition of a hook turn, click the previous link. To see how pretty much every person from every other state in Australia responds to hook turns, I refer to Fat Pizza:

We managed to get through without killing anyone, hitting a train or sustaining any damage to the car, thus we considered it a complete success. One quick stop later we had Kim in the car, and we were on our way to the Yarra Valley region to visit a winery and have some lunch.

When travelling in groups, no matter how small or large, choosing somewhere to eat and drink wine can be a complicated affair. Julie told us about a story from a trip she had previously taken, where they would randomly choose left or right at intersections and see where they would end up. We decided to incorporate this idea into our current trip, by choosing a random number, which would then form the basis of which winery we would stop at. We chose the number 5, and after locating the 5th winery sign we arrived at a small little building by the side of the road.

A woman came out to greet us, and informed us that not only did they not produce wine anymore (they were a cooking school), they were doing filming that day and thus they were  closed. We were a little disappointed, but rather than try and randomly choose the next winery we asked the lady to choose a number between 1 and 10. She chose 8, so using the map of all wineries in the Yarra Valley region, we located the 8th winery and were on our way again.

Manadala Wines was the winner.

Mandala Wines

We first decided to do some wine tasting, where I confirmed that I’m still not a big fan of red wines. However, I did discover that I was a big fan of the Mandala Wines 2010 Mandala Sauvignon Blanc, described as:

Ripe tropical fruit and cut grass characters. The palate is crisp and clean with zesty citrus fruit characters, gooseberry and lychee

None of that was evident to me, even though I pretended to know what I was doing, swishing my glass and sniffing it and the like. I just knew that when I put it in my mouth, it tasted good. My housemate back at home loves wine, so I bought her a bottle to say thanks for looking after my dog while I was away. When she later drank a glass back at home, she informed me that she was a huge fan as well.

Once we finished in the wine tasting room we made our way into the restaurant area. We ordered from the bar menu, getting a couple of plates each (we expected small meals). Truth be told, I could have done with just one, and I struggled to finish my two plates. I ordered duck rilette with a pear jelly (I forget the exact name, but it was incredible), and a traditional english pork pie.

Duck Rilette with a pear jelly

Traditional English Pork Pie

Once we had finished eating the O’Brien genes kicked in, and I requested we take a walk outside (my family has a history of always going for a walk after eating – we’re strange). The girls were happy to oblige, so we made our way out the back. Compulsory photos of us posing in the gazebo were taken, before wandering down to take a look at the vineyard. A fence was up so we couldn’t actually walk in amongst them, but we were able to get some nice photos like this:

The wine in that glass didn't stay there for long

I also took the opportunity to make a bad joke to the guys setting up a marque for a wedding, before we collected our purchases from the front room and headed home.

Stay tuned for part 2 – it involves getting lost, English humour, and plenty of drunken tales.

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