Today I will be attending the funeral of a friend who sadly passed away from cancer on the weekend. His life was cut drastically short; the world has lost a treasure and there is many, many people who will sorely miss him.

The thought of going to a funeral got me thinking, they’re such sad affairs. That’s not how I would like mine to be, I don’t want to be the cause for making people cry. At least, I hope there’ll be at least one person at my funeral (uh, can someone organise a paid crowd for me??).

I know it’s a bit of a cliche, but I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life. Surely there will be one or two fond memories people have. Thus, I am going to write a list here of my requests for when I die. I have warned my sister that she has to follow my list to the end, otherwise I will come back and haunt her. I can be annoying in life, imagine me in the afterlife when I have nothing better to do with my time! Hence I know she’ll do what I want *grin*

The rules:

• NO BLACK! Anyone who wears black at my funeral isn’t allowed inside. Bugger off and mourn elsewhere saddo.
• Denim welcome. I love wearing jeans, so why should I prevent others from doing the same. Bugger off and wear your formal clothes elsewhere snobs.
• I want to be cremated, and tossed into the ocean while people do weird dances to “Love Shack” on the beach. Why? Because I think that would just be damn funny to see, so bugger off and get a casket for someone else you traditionalist.
• No sad music. Some requests for music at my funeral:

Hey there, fancy pants – Ween

La, la, la – Bert and Ernie

Shiny, happy people – REM

Those songs also come with a requirement that people must dance, and smile. Oh, and I want lots of gerbras at my funeral too, cheers for that!

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