Kelly's World

Last week I flew to Sydney to join up with the rest of the company for a couple of meetings in the morning, following by a brief Christmas party. It was best to take the opportunity while we were all together, as the staff members are scattered amongst states and countries and it’s incredibly rare that everyone is free at the same time.

I actually hadn’t met a couple of the staff members in person before. It was either a case of they were from another country, and we were never in the same place at the same time, or they were only just recently hired and I hadn’t had a chance to meet them. We’d spoken online before (either by email or by Skype – being remote means our company relies on instant messaging for the small things) but never physically in person. I actually got quite nervous hoping that I would make a good impression!

The day started early for me. I woke at 4am (having only just gone to bed at 12.30am – I had been at a Green Day concert the night before) and spent an hour making sure I had everything I needed in my laptop bag, showering, and generally trying to use makeup to hide my panda eyes. The carpool arrived at 5am, and we made our way to the airport. 3 hours later I was in the Sydney office.

Normally when I walk in the office in Sydney there are dust bunnies flying past. There’s an eerie silence and it’s freezing cold. You could assume you’re in a cemetery, and if it wasn’t for the computers laying around, you’d be right. I’m pretty sure it’s the bad coffee that keeps them all on their toes.

Jason and "Smart"

First impressions of the boys from NZ were they were absolute champions. Colin was a giant, definitely not what I was expecting, but was just so nice and friendly. Jason wasn’t quite so tall but had a killer smile, and my first memory was of him displaying where he’d just spilled coffee all down his shirt & pants. Hilarious! I immediately warmed to the guys; with both of them having a sense of humour it was hard not to. Steve, one of our new developers who I hadn’t met before, was a lot more quiet and introverted but very nice all the same. Angelique, our new marketing guru was stunning. I can imagine the boys go crazy over her. Very beautiful, and incredibly upbeat and bubbly. With the introductions out of the way, it was time to get down to business.

After several hours of meetings and statistics (and stuff that I probably should have been paying attention to – it was difficult to keep focused after only a few hours of sleep ), it was finally time to break for lunch. Unfortunately, one of the staff couldn’t make it as he had a deadline to meet that afternoon, so we bid him goodbye then raced to the door; there was a fun afternoon ahead!

Our boss took us to a Chinese seafood restaurant in Haymarket. We sat down and broke Christmas bon bons, with a couple of the guys putting on the paper crowns that were included (I admired their bravery – I hate those things). I  spent the next 5mins reading out all the bad jokes, I’m a big fan of a corny punch line! I was lucky enough to score a bottle opener in my bon bon, while Jason ended up with some strange chinese puzzle which we spent the next 5 minutes trying to work out.

Our boss had ordered lunch for everyone, and oh my goodness, what a lunch it was! I was told our entree was Peking Duck, but another person later said it was beef. Either way, whatever it was, I wasn’t much of a fan. It was mixed with rice, and presented on a bed of lettuce. It looked impressive, and trying not to be rude I ate it all. But yeah, it tasted a little bit funky. Shortly after that a waiter appeared carrying a plastic bag, and presented it to the boss for his inspection and approval. I didn’t realise it was a fish until it started flapping around! I remember jumping quite a bit in my chair, and Jason said I actually went quite pale.

Rhonda and Angelique

Now, I’m not that big on seafood, but seeing a fish flapping around ensured I wouldn’t be eating any that day. The damned thing was alive only minutes ago! I saw it! I love my red meat, and the only reason why I’m such a great carnivore  is my amazing ability to be completely ignorant of the fact that at one stage my steak was a living, breathing animal. I’ll have my steak well done thanks, just to make sure it’s extra dead!

When all the “main” meals arrived we were all presented with bowls of rice. On the lazy susan there was a mixture of many meals, from fried pork, steamed chicken and tofu, as well as the unfortunate previously mentioned fish. It also appeared he had a friend with him. I felt sad for them, looking at them laid out on the plate, fins intact, but with their body carved and ready for consumption. It was hard to look at, and I’ve never felt sorry for a fish before! Before you ask, yes I go fishing, no I don’t put the bait on the hook, no I don’t take the fish off the hook, yes I make Mat throw all fish back into the water.

I helped myself to some tofu and chicken, while beside me Jason made a beeline for the fish. First up, the fish eyes. He ate one (before doing so, he proudly declared his intentions to me), and I gagged. This is where all the wine came in handy. Before I could blink, I was a couple of glasses down, and the fish didn’t seem so scary anymore. We ate lunch talking about things from camping to umm….actually I would try and tell you but I think it’s a symptom of being drunk that you talk a lot of shit and can’t remember any topics later.

Before I became too bad though, I made sure to get a few photos of select members of the group. For the observant, you will notice I am absent from the photos. The reason I made photography a hobby is so that I’m always BEHIND the camera. Being in front of a camera is terrifying.

As lunch drew to a close, Jason discovered there were still two fish eyes  from flappy and his friend still on the plate. Smart (on the other side of Jason) wasn’t a big fan of fish either, so Jason challenged him to eat one. Another symptom of being drunk – you do stupid things. Smart immediately grabbed the eye, popped it in his mouth, and swallowed. The following day Smart told me he couldn’t remember what it tasted like. Jason opted to eat the other, at which I decided to video record him doing so. He provided quite a thorough review of the “treat”, while I looked away and sung music in my head so I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Unfortunately I managed to catch the end of it, and was still grossed out. If you listen at the end of the video, you’ll hear me tell him he’s gross *grin*

After we had all finished eating, we began walking to the location of our “secret team challenge”, for which we’d been told to bring socks. I had wondered if it might be ten pin bowling, and my suspicion proved to be correct. We arrived at Strike Bowling Bar, only one of the coolest ten pin bowling centres around (they have centres in other capital cities as well). Low lights, a fully licensed bar, and good music. What else do you need?

My aim for the bowling was to try and beat one of the software developers who bowls every week (though i didn’t tell him that). It would have been so sweet, and no doubt I would have carried on for quite a long time about it. Unfortunately, someone was still serving wine, and I was still consuming it. While I had been talking up my challenge to Colin, I hadn’t realised Colin and I were competing as well until the last frame of the first game.

I’ll set the scene for you. I’m drunk. Smart is drunk. He’s also dancing around the bowling alley, and making me laugh every few seconds. I look at the scoreboard, and hear a taunt from Colin. I need to get a strike to have a chance of beating him. Crap. Grabbing a ball (I didn’t choose consistently – whatever one was there at the time appealed to me) and started walking towards the lane. As I went to bowl, I heard Smart approaching from behind. I had to get rid of the ball fast and stop Smart from doing whatever he was about to do. I threw the ball down the lane and turned around, and managed to prevent Smart from taking a photo of my ass. In the meantime, I had gotten a strike!!! The look on Colin’s face was priceless. I managed to beat him by a couple of pins.

Ian and Colin (pulling quite the face)

But then, I realised that while I was in front of the software developer (and had been comfortably a couple of times in the game unless I started playing around), if he got two strikes in a row he would beat me. First bowl – strike. Second bowl – strike. DAMMIT! Colin burst out laughing, while I dropped to the floor, yelling “NOOOOOO!!!!!!” and reaching up to the sky in a dramatic fashion. Yep, copious amounts of wine will get you every time (on further reflection, for someone who was worried about meeting Colin & Jason from NZ, I was doing my best to leave a lasting impression).

We realised the time, and given that Jason had to fly out to NZ that afternoon, he had only about 20mins to check in at the airport. We raced downstairs to the Strike Bowling Bar reception to see if they could check him in online, and they tried (thanks guys – great customer service) but unfortunately as it was international, he had to get to the airport. Sadly, we bid Jason farewell after enjoying only a few hours of his company.

Back upstairs, the second game whizzed past in a drunkish blur. I was focusing less on my bowling skills (hence how both Wolfgang and Colin beat me easily) and instead preoccupied myself with being silly. I had SO much fun. I was tempted to buy a cocktail from the bar, but decided against it since I wasn’t sure getting on the spirits at a work function was a great idea. Not that it mattered, I was drunk anyway. Most of us were, it was only the drivers who were unlucky enough to be stuck with the responsibility of remaining sober.

My highlight for the afternoon would have to be when Charlie stood up to bowl. He stepped forward and into the actual lane, where they oil it  to keep it friction free. Unfortunately, this caused Charlie to start sliding. He released the ball at the same time that he slipped and landed on his bum, his back to the bowling pins, facing all of us who were now howling in laughter. Somehow, he managed to get a strike! Smart went to go help Charlie up, but instead he slipped over too and they both ended back up on the floor. Their second attempt to stand up almost caused them to go over the balcony to the bowling lanes below, but Charlie managed to save both Smart and himself. It took all of us a few minutes before we could talk again, I had tears from laughing so hard. It was better than watching the three stooges (or two in this case). It just needed some Benny Hill music.

Eventually, the games were over. Time-wise, we had also left it quite tight to get to the airport, and I had tried to check in online prior to leaving the office but was also unable to. The system advised we would need to see the customer service counter (they had delayed our flight an hour and wanted to confirm it prior to checking in). Smart lamented that we weren’t there overnight as he would have loved to continue the celebrations, to which I agreed. The day had passed in a blur, it was almost unfair. I still considered myself lucky to have been able to visit the office and meet everyone at all; previous years had seen only minor celebrations in the various states, and working in an office by yourself 99% of the time can be quite a lonely affair. Reluctantly, Jon, Charlie, Wolfgang and I were whisked off in Ian’s car to the airport, while the others made their way home in Sydney.

Thinking back on it, I was amazed at how much I had done in a day where I had had only a few hours sleep the night before, and spent a good part of the day drinking. Not bad for someone who is usually quite a cheap drunk. I can’t wait until I get to see everyone again, it appears the company I work for has quite a few cool people on the staff roster! Of course, every company has the odd bad seed, but on this day I didn’t care. I made new friendships, celebrated existing ones, and had a bloody good day.

So, when are we doing it again?

**More photos and videos from the day**

Charlie and Jon

Wolfgang and Charlie

No related posts.