I was watching tv today when I heard the amazing quote I’ve used in the title. I think I’m just going to try and remind myself of it every day, it just makes so much sense to me. It suits what I’ve done to perfection – I’ve had a “setback” in the form of my knee reconstruction, and temporarily losing the ability to do basic things for myself. But the surgery was also the setup for making my knee more stronger than it has been in 2 months, and allowing myself to really “come back” in the form of a much stronger, healthier person. I can’t wait to show you what I can do in a year.

As you can possibly tell already, I’ve felt much more positive today. The day started with Mat getting up at 6.30am (earlier than he does normally) to totally re-set up my work computer in the living room so I can sit on a different part of the couch. I can get myself on and off the couch a lot easier now, which has made me a lot happier. It was so kind of him to get up and do that (I hadn’t asked mind you), I’m so so SO grateful for his help. After he had set that up for me, and I’d done some work for an hour or so (yeah that’s right – work!!) I decided I would challenge myself to get a cup of tea without having to wake up Mat. Normally this requires making the tea on the kitchen bench, walking to the couch and sitting down. Given my hands are full with the arms of my crutches, it wasn’t going to be that simple. Here’s, how I accomplished it:

Path taken by myself and the cup of tea from the starting point of the kitchen bench, to my sitting on the couch sipping on tea

Damn right – I used Microsoft paint and rainbow colours. That’s what boredom will do to you (plus I thought it was funny).

Phase 1 – Red. Making my cup of tea, and moving it to the edge of the kitchen bench. During this phase Mat woke up, heard me fiddling in the kitchen and immediately rose. He asked what I was doing, I played innocent and didn’t turn around, and simply said “nothing!” He huffed and went into the bathroom, so I offered him a cup of tea (although he would have had to get it himself after I’d made it haha).

Phase 2 – Orange. I didn’t draw the fridge in my picture, whoops. It’s to the right of the kitchen bench. So standing in front of the fridge, I balanced on my good leg and transferred the cup of tea from the bench to the edge of the desk.

Phase 3 – Yellow. This stage was easy – slide the cup down to the end of the desk next to the couch.

Phase 4 – Green. Me crutching around the living room to get settled on the couch in the corner next to the desk. I love our couch – so big and comfortable, except when you have a busted knee and try to sit on the chaise. See previous points about Mat changing so I am sitting on a different part of the couch now.

Phase 5 – Blue. Simply turning around on the couch, picking up my tea, and sipping it. SUCCESS!!

I was so proud of myself by achieving that this morning, I think I told everyone I almost spoke to about it. How sad!! But it was a small victory in regaining my independence, so I’m still stoked. I haven’t really attempted much else in the way of getting myself drinks/food since Mat’s been up since then, and wouldn’t let me lift a finger.

I also got to take my bandages off today, so I got my first view of what to expect in the way of scars.

The wounds on my knee covered with patches

Because of all the dried blood (or seepage) under the patches, I can’t really tell where there are stitches. I’m positive there’s some in the middle area, the darkest one running horizontal. It’s too long a cut not to have something holding it closed. For the one in the top left, I think I can see maybe one or two, but I don’t think there’s any in the cut bottom right. If you look at it through drug hazed eyes like my own, all of the cuts combined could almost be a retarded percentage symbol, or division symbol.

I took the bandages off about lunch time, then had to place them back over the top to hide it from Mat, as it tended to make him feel sick looking at it. He’s not real big on blood (yet as I type this he’s watching some dodgy horror movie about killer sheep?! Oh look, a sheep just ate someone’s intestines again). About 6.30pm tonight I decided it was time to go for the next major challenge, which was to have a shower. The hospital had given me some waste disposal bags to cut up so I could use to wrap around my knee and keep it watertight. (WTF?! There’s alien looking things in Mat’s horror movie now). I wrapped up my knee, and with Mat’s help taped it tight.

It took about half an hour from the time I started strapping my knee, to the time I was completely dried and on the couch again. Only about 10mins of that was physical water running time (c’mon – I washed my hair too, I’m normally waterwise). The rest was tiny baby steps working my way into the bathroom, getting in/out of the shower, and getting changed. What a mission! I’m yet to figure out a way to get out of the shower that doesn’t totally hurt, as we have a small step up out of the shower. I’ve also got to work on my strapping technique, since my knee was saturated. On the bright side of things, it meant I was able to wash a lot of the betadine off.

I also took a painkiller today about lunchtime, when my knee was aching a bit. Big mistake. I think I could have held off for a lot longer (OMG – a sheep just pulled off the guy’s penis is Mat’s horror movie. Has anyone seen Black Sheep? Don’t). After I took the painkiller it probably took about an hour to kick in, but from that point on I was a write off. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t think straight, I felt like what I can only imagine a drugged up junkie would feel after taking a hit. I sat and stared on the couch, I was in between sleeping and being fully conscious. It was shit!! I’m definitely only taking them if I need to before going to sleep for the night. Other than that – I don’t want to feel like that again…I like being in control. I managed to chat to a few people online, and open some files for work, but didn’t accomplish anything worthwhile.

So the aims for tomorrow – get into a regular routine for my exercises the physio gave me (I’ll post full details tomorrow), and manage to have a shower with a dry knee afterwards. Anything else I can achieve will be a bonus, and I’ll try to keep my positive attitude going. After all, there’s a helluva lot of people worse off than me, I should be thankful. And I’ve got a LOT of things to be thankful for! See ya tomorrow!

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