In 47mins I will be meeting a guy, nicknamed Copper, for our second date. He’s a really nice guy, and on our first date the conversation didn’t stop or reach any awkward points. We also found we had some things in common, and much to my relief, a love of sport was one of them. At the conclusion of the night we bid good night with a hug, and parted ways without agreeing on anything for a second date, although it was clear the intent was there from both parties.
During the week we chatted via text messages, while I bunkered down to study. In the end Copper proposed a second get-together to help celebrate the end of the term, my head relocating from the space directly in front of the computer monitor, and the liberation of my ears from the sound of my chemistry lecturer’s voice. Chemistry has finished, and now tonight is that second date.
I’m completely and utterly new to this whole dating thing, so I have no idea what to expect. I had a couple of first dates with some guys but neither was anything I was interested in persuing. This is the first time I’ve gone on a second date, and it was only because the first went so well. Thankfully we didn’t have any problems with the whole “who pays” conundrum on the first date, with both of us casually putting our monetary portion for the meal on the table. That’s off my list of concerns.
Obviously there’s going to be more chatting tonight; I can’t imagine we’ll just be sitting there staring into each other’s eyes (that would freak me out in a huge way). It’s more-or-less what is meant to happen as a result from this date.
A friend pointed out that sex is a no-go on the second, which is fine by me. I’m still trying to establish if I have a physical desire for Copper. When it comes to finding guys attractive there’s only two situations for me. 1 – They’re incredibly hot eye candy, but that’s the extent of the attraction, nothing ever goes beyond the initial perve (although being in a relationship for so long also meant that I never really wanted to act upon it). 2 – They’re not bad looking, but I only find an appeal once I’ve worked out their personality and whether that’s attractive or not. It’s like when you listen to a CD and you’re trying to work out whether you like the album or not. The music is totally new and you’re not used to it yet, but after a few plays suddenly you realise it’s the BEST FREAKING ALBUM EVER! 99% of my favourite albums on iTunes falls into this category, and so given it takes me time to appreciate music it wouldn’t surprise me if I’m the same with men. I definitely know I’m not a wham-bam-thankyou-m’am kinda chick (disclaimer – this may change in the future if I find that I’m super drunk and in the mood for a one night stand, I’m not ruling anything out here).
So I know sex isn’t an issue right now.
It’s everything before that. Is tonight the night where there’s meant to be a good night kiss? Is there some other random “second date rule” that I’m not aware of?
Again though, this entire blog post just proves that I’m very much an over-thinker. I wish my analytical mind would move to more less strenuous and far more temporary situations, like what I’m going to wear (I’m already dressed in black jeans, black singlet, grey v-neck long sleeved sweater, black scarf and a thick grey coat – it’s FREEZING on the coast right now). Or how to wear my hair (ponytail) or makeup style (I only have one, and it consists of the basic foundation, slight bronzing powder and eyeliner *snore*). Or what shoes I’m going to wear (new boots that I bought today because I needed closed in shoes for winter that weren’t sneakers).
Nope. Instead of those relatively easy dilemmas, I have to overthink the emotional side of things. I guess that’s why I have a blog; otherwise I wouldn’t really have much to share with you all now, would I?
And lastly, just a question. Are these dating blog posts any interesting? Do you guys enjoy reading about my escapades, or do you want less “girly” stuff? If anyone has some awesome dating stories they’d be willing to share I’d love to hear them too!
No related posts.
well.. there’s no hard and fast rules for when you should end up in the sack with somebody from day one.
remember, i told you about the other week, i had a date with a woman one friday night.. we’d been talking online for 2 weeks regularly and the overall vibe was quite good.. so we met up.. had a chat and drink first to suss each other out before going ahead with ordering dinner.. and before long she was rubbing her GG cups on my elbow as she was sitting next to me… good vibes there, yes?
once dinner was done and dusted, we went back to my place via blockbuster’s with a dvd, got home, 10 mins into the dvd, my face was between her legs… ho hum.
and… contrary to what some might think, that doesnt happen often.
it could be 10 dates before you even end up having a snog.. or even 20. but then im sure nobody would last that long. does somebody want to prove me wrong? we’re in this day and age where time is of the essence and people dont want to be fucking around doing one date after another with the same person with no end result in sight.
in a nutshell, go with your feelings and instinct. if the chemistry is there, the vibe is there… then whats stopping you from getting laid? oh yeah.. get off the blobs first.
OK, from my experience (which prior to the long term relatioship that I’m not in), I dated a lot and slept with men rarely. I personally couldn’t randomly sleep with guys that I didn’t feel some level of deep attraction, lust or like for.
Back in the day I would get a thrill from an accidental brush of the hand when walking side by side, or when our arms collided on the arm rest of the cinema chairs. I’m not saying that you should get these same feelings, but I do think you need to feel something (even if it is the need for a one nighter) before making the decision to sleep with a bloke.
At the end of the day, as long as you are doing what you want and are safe with your body, then I think that’s the only thing that counts!
Ha! I guess my experience last year was a bit different. I met an attractive girl while camping outside a Radio Shack all night long with two pillows and a couple of blankets in anticipation of the first day release of the iPhone 4. If this means anything, we were also the fist two people in line and our birthdays were one day apart.
We had the most incredible conversation about every topic under the sun and decided the next morning, after picking up our iPhones, to meet a day later for tacos and some drinks. Over the next few months, that stretched from July all the way to December we went to the movies and dinner and all kinds of places, kept having a great time until towards the end realized that something was terribly wrong. Neither one of us were attracted to the other and during this entire period we had never kissed even once or ever held hands. We knew we were not trying to be friends either. It just ended one day with neither one of us calling the other again. It’s hard to say if we were trying to ‘make things happen’ because i never made a move for two reasons: 1) I didn’t feel an attraction, or any chemistry, but wasn’t sure why. 2) she never left me any opening to make a move anyways.
First date, second date, third date…..there really aren’t any rules. If there is chemistry the right things will happen. Trust me. And it could be on any date.
Wow – that definitely is quite a different experience! And I like that – there’s no rules.
So here I am now, a whole year later, and I’ve met another woman, but this is now turning into a bizarre situation!
We met about three weeks ago or so , simply while passing by on the street, and after some friendly conversation I asked her if ‘we could someday have coffee’, to which she replied enthusiastically ‘Sure, why not!’.
A week later we met up in Union Square, New York City and headed to a very casual place that served vegetarian (I chose this place because she was vegetarian)
On the way while walking there she let out a huge, and I mean HUGE burp and didn’t say ‘excuse me’ or anything like that. I pretended I didn’t hear it. When we got to the restaurant we got a table, ordered some food and totally had a very good time there, great conversation and all. At the end of the meal I asked her if we could meet up again the next week and hang out and she said to check back with her by Friday as her work schedule goes up then. So I walked her to the subway, told her I’d call her and gave her a big hug and we parted ways.
When Friday rolled along I texted her and asked her if she wanted to meet up on Monday, have lunch and take some pictures around Mc Dougal Street as it could be a lot of fun. She said she would also bring her camera along. The next day she called and asked if it was ok to meet up on Tuesday instead as she was having a mattress delivered to her place. I agreed and we met up on Tuesday, again found another vegetarian place, once again had a great time and left the place heading down the street to find some great spots to take some pictures. She mentioned that she didn’t bring her camera, but I brought mine, so no problem. As we walked she let out two huge burps and didn’t say ‘excuse me’ just like the last time. I let it fly, thinking to myself that I’d have to get used to this little quirk. I also noticed that she had on no make up at all, just like the last time, and wondered how nice it would have been if she had invested the time to put herself together a bit. Guys do appreciate that, because it shows that the girl dolled herself up just for us and we feel kind of special in the time that was invested. The girl does NOT have to be pretty, but a little effort goes a long way, in my book at least.
Anyways we took a bunch of pictures, me being mindful that this was Date #2 and I playfully touched the back of her hand a couple of times while cracking a joke that I ‘just knew she smoked pot’ or something, which got her laughing like crazy, and telling me that she never did a drug in her life. I don’t think she ever did anyways. We were basically having a lot of fun. I didn’t dare hold her hand because this was Date #2 and I had spent the entire night googling the ‘do’s and don’ts of Date #2. I didn’t want to ruin things. I was looking for a LTR and sex was the last thing on my mind. Besides, I’m the kind of guy, that if there’s even half a percent of indication that the girl is not attracted to me, it’s over in my books. It has to be a two way street for me, and I’m not in any rush to escalate things.
So after some window shopping along Soho’s eye candy of trendy stores we pop into a place called True Religion. The place was beyond expensive and I didn’t realize it in the beginning, but this being a designer clothing place it made sense. Most of my clothes are super expensive because I only buy stuff like that. Call me crazy, but I have a weakness for expensive clothes. I figure if I want to date someone, I should dress nice since women also spend a lot of time, money and energy on clothes and make up. I wanted to also bring something to the table, so to speak, not that I ever have a hope in hell of competing with women in the Looks Department (women have that area monopolized!), but I want to look good when I meet them.
Anyways I see these white jean shorts on the hanger that cost $179 (I didn’t notice the price tag immediately) and I said to her that I wanted to buy them for her for the heck of it. She immediately blurted out a big ‘no’ and that if I did buy them she would come back and return them and keep the money because she needed money!
So I said that it made no sense to me if she would return them since that would defeat the purpose of me wanting to buy her something nice. So we left the store, and there were no hard feelings or anything. Along the way I asked her if i could see her tomorrow and she said that she had two free movie tickets because a friend was promoting a movie we would be doing him a favor by watching it. So at the train station it was another big hug, albeit a hurried one on her part, and a peck on the cheek. We agreed to meet up first for lunch before the movie.
So, if neither one of us cancels by tomorrow, it will be Date #3. Lord help me with this one because I’m not one for making a move in a theatre, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA if this girl is attracted to me, so I’m holding back big time, and I have no clue what generally happens on Date #3. Remember, in my last post, nothing happened for about 6 months, and it fizzled into nothing. However, the good news is that during these past two days at least three women gave me their numbers, so I do have other options to consider. But this current scenario mirrors the last one in at least one aspect. In both cases there was fireworks and excitement during the initial encounter which over time faded into noticeable disillusionment and disappointment on both sides as more and more time passed ‘without anything happening’ so to speak. In this case I’m beginning to realize that I’m losing my attraction for this girl faster than ice melting on a July afternoon, and I’m sooooo tempted to ‘call out’ of tomorrow’s date, but the only reason I haven’t done so is I don’t think it would be cool on my part since it doesn’t give her time to re-plan her day. So I guess I’ll stick through the lunch and movie and then right after the movie I’m getting the hell outta there! There will be no Date #4.
Did you end up on going for the date no. 3? Would love to know what happened if you did. I find the burping thing incredibly strange – no chance I’d be doing that in front of a guy!
I never made it to the third date. That night when I got home, it bothered me all night long to the point that I just couldn’t sleep. What bothered me the most, the more I thought about it, was the fact that I spent more than two hours dressing up and getting ready for both Date #1 and Date #2, both of which she showed up with no make up or anything and looking unkempt and very possibly as if she hadn’t taken a shower and just rolled out of bed, throwing on whatever clothes that were within arms reach. On the first date I noticed a lock of her hair spiraling out of control as if being pulled by some weird magnetic force away from her head, while the rest of her ‘hair-do’ looked like a jumbled mess. On the second date she had on these filthy black shorts and again her hair looked like a mess. It was all of this and the burping loudly without excusing herself that made me question why I had gone through so much trouble to look nice for her. There was NO WAY I was going on Date #3, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
So, in the middle of the night I sent her a text saying that I was not feeling up to it and I wouldn’t be able to make it. When I woke up the next day at 5pm (I crashed the entire day, having been up all night long fighting with my conscience on whether I should show up or not) there was a reply that she was going to see the movie anyways. We actually joked around about this and that in the next several text messages while she waited for the movie to start. All this was last week, and since then we didn’t text each other until this evening when I had all but forgotten about her and suddenly a text arrived from her saying that she was visiting relatives in another state and would talk to me when she gets back in a few days. I can’t see this leading anywhere.
I can’t say that I’m being too strict with this one or raising my standards because I’ve been spoiled by the past women in my life who were all 5’8″ tall and never weighed over 116lbs, always spending hours in front of the mirror before coming over to my place smelling of expensive perfume and wearing really nice clothes, or at least designer jeans or at the very least CLEAN CLOTHES for crying out loud. I can’t say i’ve been spoiled even though these little ‘extras’ like ‘dolling one’s self up for a guy’ DOES MAKE THE DIFFERENCE OF MAKING US SIT UP AND NOTICE and work harder to get the girl, which is why the makeup industry is a billion dollar business and which is why I should have more reason to be spoiled since I’ve been on the receiving end of a hottie showing up all dolled up at my doorstep far too many times to know just how great it is. Women have this amazing thing called beauty when nature has been kind enough to bless them with it. And if you really sat down and thought about it long and hard enough you would realize it is the reason why there are bridges and buildings. And this girl, come to think of it, if she did herself up even a little bit, she would be a stunner. At the very least she could have put on some clean clothes and showered. The most important thing I learned from this is that you will eventually end up with who you are supposed to. And it doesn’t have to happen by Date #3.
I have all the patience in the world ha ha.
jewels,
jesus F christ, another superficial american.
there’s more to women than just make up and dolling themselves up just to look good for us.. beauty isnt just skin deep. i encourage my ladies to leave the make up at home because it simply doesnt float my boat to be looking at a mask, i would much rather be looking at the real person underneath.
and there is such a thing as trying too hard.. sure, you made the effort to dress up nice, kudos to you, but does it mean the woman *has* to do the same thing as well? no.. far from it.. sure, maybe she could have worn something else other than filthy shorts and tidied up her hair a bit but why make a judgement when you barely knew her at that point? and i sure as hell wouldnt be taking a girl i barely knew into a clothes store regardless of what the merchandise cost – that’d be sending a crystal clear message to her that you think she dresses like shit. her behaviour likely indicated she couldnt care less what you thought, with her burping and daggy dress style and “generally not making the effort to look the goods for you”. and she was probably not even interested in you at all other than as a time waster/space filler… good for her in saying she’d have taken back those pants and put the money to better use, at least she was honest!
the general message from your post is that you just want a woman who will look the way you want her to!
David,
I’m surprised at your hostility and calling me a superficial American (use a capital A – you might need to work on your spelling, and after that, your manners), but I’m hardly any of those things. Your post is full of contradictions, where on one hand you encourage ‘your ladies’ to ‘leave the make up at home’, since beauty is skin deep, but on the other hand you make a pretty lame excuse that ‘she was probably not even interested in you’ (referring to the girl I was on a date with)instead of bringing up the fact that her personal hygiene was the question, that is: showing up on a date 1) Un-showered 2) wearing filthy shorts 3) Hair unkempt, and also not possessing any manners. Remember David, she burped once loudly on the first date and twice loudly on the second date, never politely excusing herself even once.
As far as her not being ‘interested in me other than a time waster/space filler’, you sir don’t have the facts on hand! She has since called me thrice asking me if we can hang out AT HER PLACE, no less. And I declined all three times.
As far as the make up thing goes, the beauty is skin deep theory, if you read my post carefully instead of rushing to reply in a mad haste to get something off your chest, I did mention something to the point of ‘at the very least CLEAN CLOTHES for crying out loud’.
You mention at the beginning of your post that you ‘encourage my ladies to leave the make up at home’. Looks like you sleep around a lot and you are not very discriminating in your tastes .
Now I don’t know if you can’t read or have trouble with your spelling, but the general message from your post is that YOU HAVE NO STANDARDS when it comes to dating, or in your case I should say sleeping around.
Oh wow – there’s a bit of a comment war going on at my blog…first time this has happened. Interesting. http://bit.ly/qzBqz6
Well, this blog clearly needs another David, so here I go!
David and David, stop bitching about each other and answer the blog!
Second date..it depends on the flow of the night. My first date with my wife, we were both physically attracted to each other and the night ended with her giving me a gentle, lingering kiss on the cheek. That did not disappoint me, it made me keen to find out what was beyond that kiss, as I had already worked out I liked who she was and was interested in going further physically and emotionally.
As I said, play the date by ear, if you are starting to feel attraction to him, give him a lingering kiss on the cheek at the end of the date. Or, if you are feeling strong attractions, change the kiss.
Just remember, there is no hurry to get physical in a relationship, it could take many more dates just to get a kiss. If he keep coming to dates with no physical reward, it means he likes you for who you are.
jewels,
capital A for american? *shakes head*
as i said, your posts clearly indicate a desire for a woman/potential partner to conform to YOUR idea of how a woman should dress herself when it comes to turning up to a date… or three.
whatever happened to letting them be themselves? surely they’d be happier that way without having THAT expectation foisted upon themselves by a person such as yourself. you’d only be leaving yourself wide open for disappointment, and that’s what happened with.. that girl with the unkempt hair and dirty clothes who you had the brains to take into an expensive clothes store… wow. i mean, wow.
so, really, why did you hang around when you saw 1. unshowered 2. filthy shorts. 3. unkempt hair and burps with no manners? and to quote you – “And this girl, come to think of it, if she did herself up even a little bit, she would be a stunner” – ok, fine.. but that came at the end of your drivel about the makeup industry and therefore highlights what a shallow soul you are. in your eyes, DOLL UP = WIN, right? guess you only want a trophy girl hanging off a shoulder?
sure, i get around, problem? that obviously means lowered standards in your books.. you have such a sheltered way of thinking, and im betting you have some insecurities lurking around somewhere.. how do you cope?
man.. good luck finding some chick with zero brain cells who’ll wear makeup and doll herself up to your delight.
I actually am on a date with a pretty smart girl and she hot too, ha ha. You see David, no luck needed, just skills. I’ll leave the loser women to you, the un-showered ones, the tramps, ‘your ladies’. You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about ha ha. Sorry, but I’m very picky. Cleanliness is a must, but I can’t speak for you!
yeah good luck mate, whats she charging you for the girlfriend experience plus the foundation/mascara/eyeliner/makeup?
oh wait.. BLOW UP DOLL!
Hey David, you’re such a lowlife it’s actually showing everytime you make a comment here! Blow up dolls? Charging for sex? These are the thoughts that go through your mind?
Let’s rewind back to June 14 2011 when you posted such a vile story about how you had your ‘face between’ someone’s legs, thus giving all of us here a first glimpse into your rotten mind and how easily you bare the most intimate details of your ‘sexual life’ to anyone and everyone that will listen. But you just don’t stop.
However I will tell you this: She actually picked up the check for dinner if that answers anything. No David…..there are no blow up dolls ….that’s something you have more experience with. No David….she didn’t ‘charge me’. Remember….. You’re the one with ‘the ladies’ so you know more about ‘that end of the business’
I think you need to see a therapist.
As for me David…..I’M ON THE THIRD DATE HA HA !!!!!!
lowlife? vile? welcome to the internet, chump.. thats the beauty of it, free speech. and if you dont like it, you know where to go.
and do *I* give a fuck what anybody thinks, least of all a stuck-up, self centred little twat like you? no.
Ha ha…..!!! I knew I’d flush you out again. Because you DO give a damn what other people think. It rattles you that there are decent people out there, like myself for instance.Thats why you came out of your cave and now you’re all shaken up. You just cannot deal with a Class Act like me who only demands and expects the best. For you it’s the blow up dolls you mentioned before. For you it’s ‘your ladies’ the ones whom you pay, as revealed in your Freudian Slip in your past posting. But hey, it’s YOUR LIFE !
David… look, it’s getting more and more obvious that the more you open your mouth, the more nosense you spew, the more filth spills forth. Why is that? The answer is pretty simple. It stems from the garbage that’s enclosed inside your cranium that’s normally supposed to house a brain….except you don’t have one!
And David…….. ah! Never mind! Go take a cold shower, you might just clear your head a bit enough to understand what I’m trying to make sense of to you. You NEED TO SEE A SHRINK. Now if you just stop paying ‘your ladies’ you will have enough to pay for therapy.
But be careful…the therapist may suggest you buy a blow up doll. And then, who knows, you may end up on THE SECOND DATE, even if it’s with a blow up doll. For YOU that’s progress!
its almost laughable watching you take the bait time and again.
*yawn*