When I was in grade 8 I used to catch the bus to and from school. My ex-sister also used to catch the bus, and at the time was in grade 12. She would sit up the back with all her mates, ruling the bus as seniors do. As a grade 8 student, I would basically sit where I could fit, and cop shit from the seniors the whole way home. Because my sister and I hated each other, this meant I copped a LOT. One of the grade 9 boys started chatting to me about it one day, where I found out one of his sisters was also a senior, and as it turned out, my sister’s friend. He said his name was Sean, and we quickly became great friends.

One day he decided to ask me out, and I guess he had told his sister about it, because before I had a chance to think about the proposition I had about fifteen seniors chanting at me to say yes, and to give him a kiss. As a grade 8 student with absolutely no self esteem I promptly accepted, and pecked him. Thankfully we arrived at my bus stop so I jumped off the bus and ran home.

The next morning I broke up with him. I tried to explain that I didn’t like him “in that way”, but it appeared that it didn’t quite go down the way I hoped when later in the day people started jeering at me, saying things like “frigid! frigid” and “scared of a bit of a kiss?”. Despite this, we remained friends. We would always chat whenever we saw each other, and after we finished school and would run into each other around the Sunshine Coast it would result in one of us running to the other and a huge bear hug. He had an infectious smile, a cheeky personality, and was just an all out great guy.

Today I found out he passed on after a car crash on the Sunshine Coast Friday night.

RIP my friend

I am absolutely gutted. One, because he was such a beautiful person and the world is a much sadder place without him. Two, because if they were speeding, they were being absolute DICKHEADS. I am mourning for his loss but I am so angry that they could have been so stupid. I’m also angry at myself, because it’s only been a few hours since I found out he’s gone, but I’m already swearing about him. I just wish both of the boys had had more sense, and they would still be here. No one would have to go through this shit, and we could still see each other.

I probably shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Anger is one of the phases of mourning isn’t it?

I have spent the last few hours just reading his facebook wall, looking back on photos, and crying. It made me wish that cameras were so readily accessible whenever I was with him so that I would have my own personal photo to look back on and smile fondly at. My bosses have been fantastic, they’ve taken the phones for me and suggested I go home, but I would much rather stay here and try to use work to get my mind off it, although I haven’t been too successful thus far.

I also had to call my ex, since he knew Sean as well. The exchange was pleasant (well, as pleasant as it could be when you’re discussing someone who has died), and he has indicated that he would like to come to the funeral. It will be the first time we have seen each other since February.

I know there will be a LOT of people at this funeral. Both boys in the accident were dearly loved, and I know there are many, many people waiting on details. It will be the first time I have seen a lot of people since high school, I just wish it wasn’t under these circumstances. I will just need to focus on celebrating his life, rather than mourning the rest of the one he won’t be living.

I plead with everyone, PLEASE SLOW DOWN. Don’t make anyone go through this unnecessarily.

Never a dull moment, much love my friend