In only 6 days, 16 hours and 50 minutes I will be meeting with the surgeon to get my stitches out, not that I’m counting. I also believe that’s the day I will be off the crutches, and regain the use of my hands. I hope. I might not be able to walk properly immediately, so I may have to keep the crutches with me – I’m not sure. Fingers crossed for the best possible outcome anyway (no crutches). We’ll find out next Monday anyway.

Not much has changed under the bandages – there’s a little bit more blood perhaps, but other than that it still looks like the same old skin sewn together. Boring!! I should take another picture so you can see the difference after a week; I’ll remember to do that tomorrow. It just looks like it’s all spread out within the patches, so when they come off it’s going to spill everywhere!! I’ll have to remember to wear shorts to the hospital so I don’t get my jeans caked in the stuff.

Today started off absolutely terrible, but ended up pretty great. First thing I did this morning was swing my leg out of bed, as if it was completely normal. I would say it had to do with habit, and it actually didn’t hurt until it hit the floor and the blood trickled down my leg. My shin and calf muscles have become increasingly painful to walk on, and my calf has even begun cramping a little. This is probably due to the fact that my leg has been elevated SO much, and iced so much, that when I put my foot down to start walking I don’t really give my muscles a chance to get some blood in them. I’ll just have to make sure I really focus on stretching out my leg tonight.

Anyhow, after I got out of bed and did my morning ritual (ex-shower, only loo, wash face, and let Turbo outside) I went back into the bedroom to get my water bottle. Putting the top in my mouth (my attempt to “carry it”) I headed to the kitchen. Just as I reached the tiled surface, BANG. I dropped the water bottle, it cracked (it was a hard plastic) and water went EVERYWHERE. Mat hadn’t gotten home from poker until midnight, so the last thing I wanted to do was wake him up. Instead I got a towel, slung it over my shoulder and went back to the kitchen, then used the crutches to mop up the mess.

I also had a killer of a headache, which I had associated with sleeping wrong. It turned out later it had a lot to do with the setup of my “workstation” in the living room. Lying on couch with my foot up I was spending every day looking to my left to the computer monitor so I could work. In hindsight it wasn’t the greatest of ideas. I’ve now switched position to the chaise, and will alternate it during the day so I’m not constantly looking in the same direction. I took some panadol, then during a phone conference I had this morning, laid down with an ice pack on my head. I don’t know if I was still tired, or it was the fact I was closing my eyes to block out any form of light lest I irritate my headache any more, or (more likely) the technical babble during the meeting was as boring as batshit, but I’m pretty sure I dozed off during the meeting. It would have only been for a few minutes at most, and what they were discussing was way over my head. I’m pretty sure no one missed me. The most amazing part of it all was that I was able to pick it up at the end, make some amazing points and summarise the outcome to my boss (who was also in the meeting – perhaps he fell asleep too). One of the other staff members who works from home skyped me to tell me she’d almost fallen asleep as well, so definitely not only me.

During the meeting I received a phone call on my mobile from my chiro – apparently I had an appointment this morning but they were half expecting I wouldn’t show. They thought it would have slipped my mind because I’d had a big week – CORRECT. We rescheduled for 11.30am, as I was desperate to see her to sort my neck out. When I arrived, she found the trouble spot on my neck and CRACK, instant relief. Headache was almost gone although the remnants hung around for a few more hours, possibly due to the muscle strain in my neck. Nothing a good massage can’t fix. It also turned out the receptionist at my chiro played netball on a Wednesday night at the same centre we do, and was actually in the opposing team when Mat went down with his shoulder dislocation! She hadn’t realised it was me until I left for the hospital with him. Small world.

Rest of the afternoon was uneventful. I played in the backyard with Turbo for about 5mins. Basically I picked up his toy hamburger, threw it down the lawn which he raced after, then I slowly crutched over to him. He ran away, I followed, he ran away again, I followed again. Went like that for a few minutes until he tired of how slow I was, and laid down in the grass. Fine – I can take a hint!!!

So now you know how exciting (not) my days are, I think it’s best I post blogs just weekly from this point; unless you’re really fascinated by my “keep leg up, sook a bit about how sore I am, get bored, blog about it” stories??  I’ll be sure to add some more pictures once the stitches are out and we’ll see just how awesome my scars are going to be!!

Late last night Mat got home with a ticket to a poker event being held in Tweed Heads, roughly 2 – 3 hours drive. Technically it was a QLD event, but because players could buy into the event, and the prizes were cash, it had to be held in NSW (QLD law prohibits the ability to buy in for tournaments other than in Casino’s – or something like that). It was a huge opportunity for him, given first prize was $20,000. A friend of ours had won the entry ticket, but as he wasn’t able to go he offered it to Mat. Mat accepted, but told him he’d have to check with me to make sure I would be alright by myself for a whole day. When he asked, I laughed and told him to go – there was no way it would be fair of me to hold him back, and besides, I’m able to do most things for myself at the moment. I told him as long as I could get out of bed, go to the loo, and make a cup of tea then I would be fine (silly me). Props to him for being worried about me though, it’s nice to know the extent to which he cares.

Overnight was a disaster. He couldn’t sleep, he was nervous and excited and was like he had ants in his pants. I don’t think he managed half an hour of sleep. I had managed to go to bed without taking any painkillers because I was feeling good, but Mat woke me up at 1.30am to tell me he couldn’t sleep (I had moved my arms in my sleep and he thought it meant I was awake). From when I woke up I felt my leg aching, and couldn’t get back to sleep. After a little bit, Mat offered to get my painkillers which I reluctantly accepted. 20mins later I was dead to the world again. Not so for poor Mat – he spent the night trying to listen to music on the ipod in bed, getting up and watching tv, and purely lying in bed, but he just could not get back to sleep.

Mat left at 6.30am as he had to be at our friend’s place (he was going in a car with them) at 7, and they had to be in Tweed Heads by 10 (11am NSW time – we lose an hour when crossing the border). He kissed me goodbye and left, and still feeling a bit drugged up I soon fell back asleep. That was pretty much how my morning went – wake up, stare for about 5mins, go back to sleep. I eventually got up and moved into the living room, where I found Mat had set up an additional chair at the home PC for me, so I could “mix it up” and play some games during the day.

I started the home pc, while I made myself some vegemite on toast. Using the path of kitchen > desk, I managed to eat breakfast while playing on the computer. However, having one leg up on another chair meant that I was slightly twisted towards the computer, and it wasn’t very comfortable for long periods of time. I lasted an hour at the desk, then moved to the couch again. From there, the day purely existed as sleep – twitter – read – sleep – drink – twitter – read – sleep and so on. Very uneventful.

At one point I was concerned about the bruising on my shin, and a slight swelling of my foot, but upon googling it it appears it’s a common symptom post surgery. All I know is my shin is damn painful to touch, so I might start icing that area as well over the next few days. I’ll be phoning the hospital tomorrow as well just to confirm they’ve booked me in to see the surgeon and get my stitches out, so if it’s any worse tomorrow I’ll just mention it on the fly to the person on the phone and see if they think there’s any cause for concern. Otherwise it can just wait until I see the surgeon next week.

Up until dinner time, I’d managed the day fine by myself. I wanted to wash the dishes though, but I was having problems standing for long periods of time today (making a cup of tea was bad enough) so decided it would just have to wait for Mat. I”ll apologise like mad, but I really just didn’t feel like I was up for it today. Even thinking about cooking dinner I felt defeated. I discussed it with Pauline, and given my options were corn chips (my “easy option” lunch which I’m ashamed of), toast, or some pasta that I wasn’t sure how to cook and would require a fair bit of getting up and down, I decided I would wave the white flag and call my mother.

I rang and asked if she would mind coming over to cook me dinner, and immediately wished I hadn’t. I think I was tired and just wanted a “sure I’ll come over now”, and for her to come and just make it. I didn’t want to have to think about it. Instead, I was bombarded with questions of “what did I want” and “what shops were open” and “what food do you have in the house”. When she suggested making me scrambled eggs I gave up and just said not to worry about it – I would just make myself some toast. I guess I just felt that for her to come all the way over and to just cook scrambled eggs was a bit of a let down. Very unfair of me, but I blame it on the fact I was spoilt earlier in the week when she brought over her amazing lasagne *grin* Speaking of which, Mat had eaten the rest of it about 11.30pm last night.

After we hung up, she rung back twice to make sure I’d managed to make the toast. I was actually still on the couch watching the QLD Roar match, and told her I hadn’t even attempted it yet. I assured her that I would be fine making toast (as I’d made it earlier), and relieved she hung up. She also said that she had been thinking of calling me and seeing if I wanted to go for a drive just to get out of the house, but given how sore and achy I was today it was probably best that she didn’t.

Now I’m on the couch writing this post, having just taken some painkillers before bed. It’s the first time I’ve written my daily summary on the actual day, and I’m not sure what inspired me to write it now. It’s 1020pm, and Mat’s just rung to tell me they’re finally leaving Tweed Heads. He should get here around midnight or a bit later, so in essence he’s been awake for about 36 hours straight now. He’s going to be SHATTERED when he gets home. Since I’m so comfortable on the couch now, I think I’ll just sleep here until he gets home. Actually, I think I can feel the drugs starting to kick in, my entire leg just feels hot like fire, and my eyes are starting to close. Beats the usual dull ache I guess!!

Time to lay down and snooze for the 10th time today – night all!

Today was when my body thermal management system broke down. We had the air con going all day, but I just could not cool down!! Ice pack on the knee, countless drinks of water and other cool beverages, and just would not cool down.

Mum also came over for a cup of tea in the morning, and we chatted for a bit. She bought over some mail for me which was the first bill from the hospital, damn they’re quick! I’ve got to call medicare and see what the process is, whether I pay outright and they pay me back, or if I can claim through them first then pay the difference etc. I’ll have to wait until Monday to contact them however.

I also decided today that I would make Sunday my productive day. I’m going to have to blog some ideas on things to do when you’re stuck on the couch (or bed), since I seemed to really be struggling for ideas. At the moment my “activities” range from sleeping on the couch, watching tv, reading a book, and incessantly checking twitter.

Other than that the day passed normally. No pain, a little bit of aching but nothing that required painkillers. I managed to shower without getting my patches wet, so that was awesome. Mat tends to think there’s a little bit more blood within the patches, but it’s not much so I would assume at this point there’s nothing to be concerned about. It looks as though I’m really starting to fall into a pattern with my leg – laziness!

I was watching tv today when I heard the amazing quote I’ve used in the title. I think I’m just going to try and remind myself of it every day, it just makes so much sense to me. It suits what I’ve done to perfection – I’ve had a “setback” in the form of my knee reconstruction, and temporarily losing the ability to do basic things for myself. But the surgery was also the setup for making my knee more stronger than it has been in 2 months, and allowing myself to really “come back” in the form of a much stronger, healthier person. I can’t wait to show you what I can do in a year.

As you can possibly tell already, I’ve felt much more positive today. The day started with Mat getting up at 6.30am (earlier than he does normally) to totally re-set up my work computer in the living room so I can sit on a different part of the couch. I can get myself on and off the couch a lot easier now, which has made me a lot happier. It was so kind of him to get up and do that (I hadn’t asked mind you), I’m so so SO grateful for his help. After he had set that up for me, and I’d done some work for an hour or so (yeah that’s right – work!!) I decided I would challenge myself to get a cup of tea without having to wake up Mat. Normally this requires making the tea on the kitchen bench, walking to the couch and sitting down. Given my hands are full with the arms of my crutches, it wasn’t going to be that simple. Here’s, how I accomplished it:

Path taken by myself and the cup of tea from the starting point of the kitchen bench, to my sitting on the couch sipping on tea

Damn right – I used Microsoft paint and rainbow colours. That’s what boredom will do to you (plus I thought it was funny).

Phase 1 – Red. Making my cup of tea, and moving it to the edge of the kitchen bench. During this phase Mat woke up, heard me fiddling in the kitchen and immediately rose. He asked what I was doing, I played innocent and didn’t turn around, and simply said “nothing!” He huffed and went into the bathroom, so I offered him a cup of tea (although he would have had to get it himself after I’d made it haha).

Phase 2 – Orange. I didn’t draw the fridge in my picture, whoops. It’s to the right of the kitchen bench. So standing in front of the fridge, I balanced on my good leg and transferred the cup of tea from the bench to the edge of the desk.

Phase 3 – Yellow. This stage was easy – slide the cup down to the end of the desk next to the couch.

Phase 4 – Green. Me crutching around the living room to get settled on the couch in the corner next to the desk. I love our couch – so big and comfortable, except when you have a busted knee and try to sit on the chaise. See previous points about Mat changing so I am sitting on a different part of the couch now.

Phase 5 – Blue. Simply turning around on the couch, picking up my tea, and sipping it. SUCCESS!!

I was so proud of myself by achieving that this morning, I think I told everyone I almost spoke to about it. How sad!! But it was a small victory in regaining my independence, so I’m still stoked. I haven’t really attempted much else in the way of getting myself drinks/food since Mat’s been up since then, and wouldn’t let me lift a finger.

I also got to take my bandages off today, so I got my first view of what to expect in the way of scars.

The wounds on my knee covered with patches

Because of all the dried blood (or seepage) under the patches, I can’t really tell where there are stitches. I’m positive there’s some in the middle area, the darkest one running horizontal. It’s too long a cut not to have something holding it closed. For the one in the top left, I think I can see maybe one or two, but I don’t think there’s any in the cut bottom right. If you look at it through drug hazed eyes like my own, all of the cuts combined could almost be a retarded percentage symbol, or division symbol.

I took the bandages off about lunch time, then had to place them back over the top to hide it from Mat, as it tended to make him feel sick looking at it. He’s not real big on blood (yet as I type this he’s watching some dodgy horror movie about killer sheep?! Oh look, a sheep just ate someone’s intestines again). About 6.30pm tonight I decided it was time to go for the next major challenge, which was to have a shower. The hospital had given me some waste disposal bags to cut up so I could use to wrap around my knee and keep it watertight. (WTF?! There’s alien looking things in Mat’s horror movie now). I wrapped up my knee, and with Mat’s help taped it tight.

It took about half an hour from the time I started strapping my knee, to the time I was completely dried and on the couch again. Only about 10mins of that was physical water running time (c’mon – I washed my hair too, I’m normally waterwise). The rest was tiny baby steps working my way into the bathroom, getting in/out of the shower, and getting changed. What a mission! I’m yet to figure out a way to get out of the shower that doesn’t totally hurt, as we have a small step up out of the shower. I’ve also got to work on my strapping technique, since my knee was saturated. On the bright side of things, it meant I was able to wash a lot of the betadine off.

I also took a painkiller today about lunchtime, when my knee was aching a bit. Big mistake. I think I could have held off for a lot longer (OMG – a sheep just pulled off the guy’s penis is Mat’s horror movie. Has anyone seen Black Sheep? Don’t). After I took the painkiller it probably took about an hour to kick in, but from that point on I was a write off. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t think straight, I felt like what I can only imagine a drugged up junkie would feel after taking a hit. I sat and stared on the couch, I was in between sleeping and being fully conscious. It was shit!! I’m definitely only taking them if I need to before going to sleep for the night. Other than that – I don’t want to feel like that again…I like being in control. I managed to chat to a few people online, and open some files for work, but didn’t accomplish anything worthwhile.

So the aims for tomorrow – get into a regular routine for my exercises the physio gave me (I’ll post full details tomorrow), and manage to have a shower with a dry knee afterwards. Anything else I can achieve will be a bonus, and I’ll try to keep my positive attitude going. After all, there’s a helluva lot of people worse off than me, I should be thankful. And I’ve got a LOT of things to be thankful for! See ya tomorrow!