Now that he has updated his status it has prompted responses and replies from a few of my friends. My own mother updated her status declaring that she has removed him from her facebook contacts, which was her attempt to be fiercely protective of me. Another friend messaged me to warn me before I logged on today. It also explained why yet another friend started randomly emailing me at midnight to tell me that I am better off without him (she is in another country at the moment so it wouldn’t have been a strange hour for her at the time).

While I love that my family and friends felt a need to protect me, it definitely made me ponder my own feelings on the subject and whether I actually needed protecting.

My initial response to his update was “I’m not surprised”. Even if they weren’t yet an item when we split up, or even shortly after, they were definitely together. The fact that he chose to deny it also doesn’t surprise me since I know from the past that he would lie at all costs to save himself (whether for pride or potential backlash). Now that the confirmation of their relationship is out there, I can honestly say that it really didn’t shock me.

My second emotion, although I tried to deny it, was one of disappointment, although it’s not as black and white as that sounds. I’m NOT hurt and disappointed that he is in a relationship – good for him! We were eventually going to end up in other relationships anyway, it was inevitable. I think perhaps the hurt and disappointment might be in my own direction, which is incredibly difficult to explain. Maybe it’s just that I am expecting a bit of pity from people? Pity in that I’m the one that is still single while he has got a new woman, I’m the one that got left behind etc etc.

Fact of the matter is that I am loving my life at the moment.

I live in a house with great people. I have fun every single day of my life in my new house. I have made new friends who challenge me and open my mind. I have formed stronger bonds with my old friends, knowing that they are there when I need them the most (I love you all very much and thank you). I have freedom and the ability to choose what I want to do and when I want to do it. I have found that I am attractive to the opposite sex, helping me to build my confidence and self-esteem. Most importantly, I have learned that when the going gets tough, I may have a hiccup and have a down patch, but I know that I am strong enough to get through it.

Nothing has stopped me so far, and I will be damned if I will let anything stop me in the future.

If I was still with my ex I know that I wouldn’t have learned any of this about myself, and I would have missed out on these incredible experiences. I would still be in a position where I was afraid to go out anywhere by myself. I would consider myself only one half of a duo, and incapable of operating solo. I would still question my looks, intelligence and appeal. I would be responsible for everything, and put down when things didn’t go the right way.

I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today.

So even if I don’t have a new boyfriend, I know that that’s because I chose for it to be that way. I am in control of my destiny, I am happier than ever, and I have nothing to be ashamed of.

I am damn proud of who I am becoming. Why should I need a facebook status to show that off?

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Now you can all go on and tell me how Christmas isn’t about the gifts, and it’s about Jesus blah blah blah. Save it. To me Christmas is a time where I look forward to sharing it with my family; the gifts are just a bonus. And I really enjoy giving people gifts, I love seeing their face as they (hopefully) become excited by what I’ve given them. Yet the pressure of finding something that makes them happy can be very difficult, and that’s what a lot of people truly despise about Christmas. The hunt for that perfect gift.

The majority of online shopping sites have wishlists; it’s been around for ages. I love the idea, you add items to the list that you would love to receive a gift. The bonus when looking at other people’s wishlists is that you know exactly what they’re after and you know you will make them happy. Win win. But if every single website has one, then it makes it damn difficult. What if I don’t know that my sister or mother has even set up a wishlist on that particular site? Are they meant to maintain a list of wishlists? Send out a yearly notification “buy me anything from my wishlist from any of these 500 different websites”. The logistics of it hurt my brain.

Hence it came to me as I was showering, thinking about what presents I still had yet to buy. Yep, my showers are where I do my best thinking…I think it’s the toilet seat for the men isn’t it?

Why not get the world’s largest social network to build in the wishlist functionality? Facebook wishlists!

It just makes sense, particularly since they’ve been stealing ideas for ages (ahem, status updates ala twitter). Imagine the dollars they could rake in from all the affiliate sites! If I had a wishlist that had books, and games, and gadgets on it, along with a link on where to buy them from, then it would be all too simple for people to buy me stuff. And honestly, I’m quite happy to receive that stuff too!

Of course, for the internet savvy they know there’s a good chance they will find better deals elsewhere. Yet there’s no denying that affiliate marketing works.

So dear Mr. Mark Z, when you make the decision to steal my idea, I would like a nice big cash donation to the “help Kelly pay off her loans” fund. A 5 digit sum will do, I’m not greedy. Cheers.

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Luckily, the owner of the facebook album, Jo, was in Sydney with us. When questioned by Fran about the picture, Jo was shocked. It DEFINITELY wasn’t one of hers. We grabbed my iPhone to see if the same photo was visible when looking at the album and amazingly, it wasn’t!

The photo as viewed on Fran's phone

The photo as viewed on my phone (note the caption is the same)

Even when viewing all the pictures in the album it was the same.

The photo is visible in the third row down, second from the left.

Second row down, second from the left.

It’s important to note that for the purpose of this blog post I took screenshots of my iPhone only today, although this is using the latest Facebook app (3.0). However, at the time of experiencing the issue with Fran’s phone I was running an earlier version of Facebook (which was the same version as Fran) but the issue still existed. Has anyone else ever had this problem?

Also, it makes you wonder just what photos Fran had on her phone exactly to make this kind of picture appear? *wink*

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Sam is the friend whore, and Amber is the one who uses it like it SHOULD be used. Sam just wants to have the most friends, and Amber just wants to see everyone’s photos haha.

So far I’ve gone through and checked out if any of my old mates from high school were on there and have been pleasantly surprised. I’ve already caught up with mates that I haven’t spoken to in about 6 years, since schoolies. And they were friends that I got along with great, I just never managed to keep in touch after high school. That’s pretty awesome.

I’ve also had a photo of me holding a vibrator uploaded by Mat’s sister but that’s another story (it was her hens night!! And given it was a sex party onboard a boat, I really had no choice. I’m just glad it’s Nic that is poking her tongue out in the general direction of her “happy stick”).

So I guess it’s time for me to admit that I’m not so rebellious as first thought, nor a nonconformist. But for as long as I can, I’ll try to blame it on Sam and Amber as to why I’m not unique.

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