Today I left to get my hair cut and coloured, which meant Mat would have to take on preparing our dinner. The instructions I gave him were simple; at 2.30pm he was to take the corned beef from the fridge, open the packet, and put the meat in the SLOW COOKER. Cover it with water, put the lid back on, turn the knob to “high”. There was no way he could screw that up.
I should have known better.
I should have remembered this was the guy who only last week took a bottle clearly marked as “face moisturiser” (and an expensive brand for any ladies paying attention) to be the same as the “After Sun Aloe Vera Gel” I had recommended he use for his sunburn. Hopefully the $10 equivalent he used on his back helped. It’s also the same guy who when half asleep took our new puppy dog out for a toilet break, stepped in dog poop, returned to bed and thought “hmm…my foot is really quite cool compared to the rest of my body” and fell asleep. In the morning, we discovered dog poo on the fitted sheet, top sheet, and doona. Quite the effort.
So two hours later I arrived home today to be greeted with a strong smell of corned beef. “Wow, that’s strong for something that’s only been on for about half an hour”. Glancing into the kitchen, to my amusement I found the aforementioned corned beef not in the slow cooker as recommended, but instead in our rice cooker, bubbling quite madly. My response was to laugh hysterically (the same reaction with the moisturiser and dog poo incidents – both times not particularly helpful) while trying to explain what he had done wrong. Mat didn’t know whether to laugh or not, but in the end he got shitty, declared he couldn’t tell the difference, and turned away. Apparently, the words “rice cooker” on the front aren’t clear enough.
Secretly, I think this is part of his plan to get out of cooking anything, ever. If he can’t get the most basic of things right, then he should never be left alone in the kitchen…correct? WRONG! I hate cooking, so he’s not getting out of it that easily!!
Not to be confused for a slow cooker
This morning when I rolled over in bed I realised it wasn’t as sunny as it normally is. I peered out through the blinds and saw an extremely overcast sky. “Gee I hope it isn’t going to rain, I’d planned on riding to work today” I sleepily mumbled to Mat. By habit I went to grab my iPhone from the beside table so I could check the weather forecast, only to realise it wasn’t there. “Damn, it’s day 2 of the byePhone challenge” I announced frustrated. Mat merely giggled. And thus my day began.
