Kelly's World

Before continuing with this post, you must have a little bit of a background in the story. Thus behold, space bars!

If you haven't heard of this snack bar, you have led a disadvantaged life.

A friend of mine on facebook is currently doing an “almost a photo a day” project, similar to my Project 365 project. He recently uploaded a photo of space food, which totally made me jump in excitement. Space bars are AWESOME!

When my mum first bought them for us as children, I eyed them off warily; more healthy food crap she was trying to force upon us. I just wanted friggin chocolate or museli bars thanks! But after trying one, I knew she had hit upon jackpot. It was so good, and from that point on whenever she bought a box it didn’t last long. So when my friend posted a photo I had flashbacks to childhood.

Just to go off on a tangent, my friend’s wife pointed out there’s no longer an astronaut on the box anymore, but rather a motor cross rider. She pondered the question “are astronaut’s not cool enough anymore?” I think it’s more worrying that they somehow link a motor cross rider with space. NO! Just NO! Don’t you understand space bars are based on the food eaten by astronauts when space travel was cool?! Silly people.

But back to my story.

I excitedly showed Mat the photo on facebook, and was horrified when he asked what it was. He had never tried them before! OH MY GOD! How have I been dating this man for over 10 years now, and never realised that he was a space bar virgin!?!

So this afternoon when we went grocery shopping I immediately grabbed a pack and threw them in our trolley. Mat groaned “urgh, you’re not going to make me try one are you?” Damn right I am! We got home and after unpacking everything, in true form I immediately went for the space bars. Suddenly, Mat realised he had tried one before and that he hated them. I was speechless, and just stared at him with my mouth gaping open while I contemplated continuing a relationship with someone whose taste was so bad. But eventually, I managed to overcome my shock and look at the bright side.

I now had a full box of space bars to myself. Fuck yeah.

Mat made dinner tonight, and this is what I was presented with. Apparently only one rissole was happy to be eaten. The others weren’t so sure.

Today I left to get my hair cut and coloured, which meant Mat would have to take on preparing our dinner. The instructions I gave him were simple; at 2.30pm he was to take the corned beef from the fridge, open the packet, and put the meat in the SLOW COOKER. Cover it with water, put the lid back on, turn the knob to “high”. There was no way he could screw that up.

I should have known better.

I should have remembered this was the guy who only last week took a bottle clearly marked as “face moisturiser” (and an expensive brand for any ladies paying attention) to be the same as the “After Sun Aloe Vera Gel” I had recommended he use for his sunburn. Hopefully the $10 equivalent he used on his back helped. It’s also the same guy who when half asleep took our new puppy dog out for a toilet break, stepped in dog poop, returned to bed and thought “hmm…my foot is really quite cool compared to the rest of my body” and fell asleep. In the morning, we discovered dog poo on the fitted sheet, top sheet, and doona. Quite the effort.

So two hours later I arrived home today to be greeted with a strong smell of corned beef. “Wow, that’s strong for something that’s only been on for about half an hour”. Glancing into the kitchen, to my amusement I found the aforementioned corned beef not in the slow cooker as recommended, but instead in our rice cooker, bubbling quite madly. My response was to laugh hysterically (the same reaction with the moisturiser and dog poo incidents – both times not particularly helpful) while trying to explain what he had done wrong. Mat didn’t know whether to laugh or not, but in the end he got shitty, declared he couldn’t tell the difference, and turned away. Apparently, the words “rice cooker” on the front aren’t clear enough.

Secretly, I think this is part of his plan to get out of cooking anything, ever. If he can’t get the most basic of things right, then he should never be left alone in the kitchen…correct? WRONG! I hate cooking, so he’s not getting out of it that easily!!

Not to be confused for a slow cooker

Traditionally, Christmas Day isn’t always a completely positive affair for my family. Oh sure, we have the typical moments of love and happiness as we sit there gorging on endless food with our friends and family. Usually, someone has always had too much too drink, or has a drug induced mental illness, which causes them to fly off the handle over some trivial issue and ruin the day for everyone. Last year we didn’t have such a moment, so my sister Amy and I pretended to have a fight, just so it felt like Christmas. It went something like this:

Me: OMG, YOU SUCK! (giggle)
Amy: YOU BITCH! (laugh)
Mum: What’s going on? (confused look)

This year, we were on track to have yet another good year, which I didn’t think I would be able to cope with – two in a row could cause a system overload! We spent the morning having breakfast at my dad’s place, swimming at the river, then eventually at my Mum’s place to unwrap presents and have lunch. I begun wondering what I’d need to do to make it seem like normal…whether I should have a domestic with Mat or not. As it turned out something memorable did happen, something I definitely didn’t see coming.

Mat proposed to me, and I accepted.

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This morning when I rolled over in bed I realised it wasn’t as sunny as it normally is. I peered out through the blinds and saw an extremely overcast sky. “Gee I hope it isn’t going to rain, I’d planned on riding to work today” I sleepily mumbled to Mat. By habit I went to grab my iPhone from the beside table so I could check the weather forecast, only to realise it wasn’t there. “Damn, it’s day 2 of the byePhone challenge” I announced frustrated. Mat merely giggled. And thus my day began.

Since I felt like yesterday wasn’t too bad I decided I was going to challenge myself today. After discovering the weather was going to be fine (via the Bureau of Meteorology website on the PC), I confirmed with Mat that I would ride my bike in. Normally this means that my iPhone would go in the front pocket of my backpack, earphones hanging out so I could listen to music while I rode. Today, I would have my iPod so I wasn’t completely without music. The only problem was that as I was riding in I realised I’d made a stupid choice for a playlist which had some non-favourable songs included. Typically one came on just as I was riding on the downhill/fast bit of the ride to work and I didn’t really want to stop the momentum just to change song (since the button on my iPhone headphones doesn’t work with my iPod). I frowned and kept riding, putting up with it.

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